The Oregon Ducks beat the Washington Huskies 55-21 late Saturday night at Autzen Stadium in Eugene, Oregon. It wasn't really that close. Stop me if you've heard this before.
Quarterback Marcus Mariota went 15-of-24 for 198 yards and four touchdowns and one interception while Kenjon Barner rushed for 122 yards. The Ducks thoroughly dominated the Huskies and are now tied with Oregon State for first place in the Pac-12's North division.
At one point the score was 44-14 just six seconds into the fourth quarter. Thankfully, most college football fans didn't have to witness this drubbing, but you have to wonder how bored Ducks beat reporters must be at this point of the season.
How many times can writers use the word "rout" before readers start to question if they're just recycling previous recaps and inserting different team names in their stories?
Washington? Check. Washington State? Check. Arizona? Check. Rout? Check, check, check.
Even their mascot is bored.
The Duck has a YouTube parody video of PSY's hit single, "Gangnam Style," with over 5 million hits to date. The Ducks, for what it's worth, does it better.
Head coach Chip Kelly also must be bored out of his mind. Won't any team give him something to sweat over? Even Alabama head coach Nick Saban finds something to complain about—two weeks ago it was over the Tide's beat reporters and how they aren't giving their opponents enough respect. Really? Life must be grand.
Who can beat the Ducks?
Kelly, on the other hand, stares off in space while his Ducks just annihilate every moving thing in their path.
Maybe he's thinking about what new uniform the Ducks will wear next week, even though it's a bye. Maybe he's thinking about a new play he wants to try out that will make every Boise State fan cry in envy. Maybe he's thinking about the NCAA.
Maybe he's wondering if he can still wear his white visor in January—in Miami Gardens, Florida.
How bad was this spanking of the Huskies? At 5:40 in the fourth quarter, the cameramen showed almost a minute of crowd shots while Matt Millen talked about absolutely nothing. Snoop Dog was also talked about for another minute. There was really nothing more to talk about.
At some point, you run out of superlatives when describing the Ducks. Prolific, speedy, opportunistic, dominating, overwhelming, eclectic, out-of-this-world.
How about this: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
One of the broadcasters covering the game commentated that even the guys that move the chains can't keep up with the Ducks. I don't even know which broadcaster said it—I was too busy looking up another word for "shock and awe" in my thesaurus.
Washington isn't that bad of a team. And the Ducks, despite getting criticized for a weak schedule, are very good; they have already beaten Arizona and still have Stanford and USC on their schedule.
Although the scheduling Gods are supposed to mix up the North and the South's interleague play, USC got the luck of the draw (again!) and hosts Oregon in four weeks.
USC isn't scared of anyone—OK, maybe Stanford—but they've got to be a tad nervous over the impending badelynge's arrival.
Badelynge, by the way, is a group of Ducks. It would behoove you not to learn Duck lingo at this point in the season.
Thank you, thesaurus.