The Dynasty Manifesto: Cena Softly To Vickie: "I Know What You Did Last Summer"
As I watched Smackdown, I attempted how long I could last without laughing. Chuckles are allowable, but pure laughter was not so I watched on. I sat through Taker's segment. He sounded great when he was saying something else than "rest in peace".
HBK has a lot cut out for him. MVP didn't take long to rid himself of Matt Hardy. I almost gave in there as Matt lost real fast after talking so much crap about his brother Jeff Hardy. The divas match between Maryse and Eve Torres was boring me to sleep though both women were attractive.
The best part came after the match when Melina came and just destroyed Maryse, the woman had no chance. I had a little chuckle there and Michele McCool gave Melina one kick for good measure and she was about done as Maryse. One kick really?! Who knew who powerful McCool was?
The World Heavyweight championship Wrestlemania 25 contract signing was just beginning and I already had a grin on my face. I just wanted to see Cena go crazy like he always does. Big Show and Edge had it out about the "Vickie affair" as expected.
Show and Vickie downplayed the situation and Cena hit the ring like the unstoppable juggernaut and easily disposed of Edge and Big Show, too bad he couldn't do that the week before. Cena corned Vickie and whispered to her ever so calm in her ear. Vickie was in tears. What did Cena say?!!
"I know what you did last summer".
Cena knows what Vickie did last summer with the Big Show. After Summerslam when Edge was taken out, Vickie had herself some big loving. Cena knows. What is amusing is that Cena has been on RAW the entire time...umm 3 years is more like it. How does Cena know this?
I say he has connections. He is not only a marine, but a cop (See: 12 Rounds) as well, so he has some "investigation skills". He did say he was that he was going to follow Vickie where ever she went. He was going to get what he wanted and wouldn't stop.
Cena was on stakeouts. He the 5-0, the popo, the law. He drove that car from the Dunkin Donuts to the Smackdown Motel, where Vickie and Big Show spent those nights together.
He used his marine perks to gain excess to the entire motel and he knows everything. He went home with the dossier and worked all night long like a forensic scientist. Endless cups of Foldgers coffee and chicken noodle soup.
He put the pieces together one by one. He measured the footprints. He took that size 19, 22, or whatever size it is of the Big Show shoe and used it for further clues.
"I Know", Cena said to himself.
He proceeded to more steak outs and even followed Vickie to her home. Vickie's pitbull made some noise, so he put it in the STFU. He ran past Chavo's room where he was trying on Victoria secret underwear and on to Vickie's room where he got more evidence on the two snooping around together.
Cena knew. He had this information since last summer but never said anything until Edge came and took his title at No Way Out. He also let his rematch clause go to waste and got knocked out by Big Show. Cena was fed up, so he headed down to Smackdown.
Vickie thought only she and Show knew, maybe Chavo as well, but she was wrong. The chaingang commander would come out and kick Big Show where the sun doesn't shine and threw a table at Edge. Then ever so gentle, like a serial killer or stalker, he whispered in Vickie's ear.
"I know what you did". He pauses to build suspense.
"I know what you did last summer". Vickie looks like she seen a ghost.
Unable to fix the problem on the phone, Vickie continues to worry. She spoke to her contact for help and recieved nothing but the obvious
The Smackdown GM had no choice but to reschedule the contract signing to RAW just because John Cena knew what she did last summer, what a shame. Looks like there be a third man involved in the World Heavyweight title match at WM.
How will the grandest stage of them all be effected by a secret summer fling that Show and Vickie had? RAW rolls on next week. Looks like I failed, I laughed, but what the heck it was worth it. I knew, we all knew!
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