The Dynasty Manifesto: The Young and the Restless

AkDSenior Writer IMarch 6, 2009

I can't help that notice that many of us have dived into the Wrestlemania news/predictions pool. Wrestlemania fever is full effect. The other day I had a really terrible cold. My head was throbbing and I had a running nose. I didn't want to, but I had to stay home and miss class.

My mother left the tv channel on CBS. When she got tired of catering to me, she flicked me off and took a walk outside. When was my immune system going to fight this off? I thought.

I already saw the Price Is Right and some news earlier. With nothing to do, I awaited the next program.All of a sudden music started to play and it shows an entire cast of people. The opening scenes end with "The Young & The Restless."


I tried to move but my head felt like Triple H hit me with his sledgehammer. It was clear that I wasn't getting up. I couldn't sleep, so I was forced to watch.

"But I loved you, we were married!" one man said.

"You were gone, I needed somebody!" the woman cried.

JESUS! could it get any worse? My mother came in from the grocery store and threw a box of Tropicana Orange juice at me. "Drink up!" She said.  She had an apple and was tossing up in the air. That reminded me of the old heel Carlito. Why did he turn face? He should have remained a heel.

"OH MY SOAPS ARE ON!" My mom was clearly excited and this wasn't a good thing.

I begged her to change the channel. She told me to go to another room, but I couldn't get up. I pleaded some more. "Wrestling is like soaps too right?! Watch it and shut the hell up!" Unable to retaliate, I watched.

The woman wasn't even that attractive, so I didn't know why the guy was in distress. The man wasn't really that young, but did he notice the age of that woman? She had an affair with a pretty large looking dude. He could have been in between, but he definitely wasn't on the slim slide.

This looks very familiar I thought. Just when I had it, my mind had dropped it. I really didn't want to watch that crap, so I escaped. My eyes were hurting, so I closed them and went to the vault, a place in my mind where all my wrestling memories and references are stored.

It was like a tornado in there. Winds were rapidly blowing. The ROH crayon box was fine, it just stood in the corner. My Influenza must have also effected the vault. Great. The only place I could escape to wasn't really functioning well.

I tried to navigate but there was just too much gusts to make it to the table of contents or the index, so the the wind blew me away. My eyes opened and I was livid. There was a back door that I knew of, but I would have to be quick this time around. I went in and concentrated as I hid behind the crayon box to gather my thoughts.


I jumped for joy and was blown out once again. My eyes opened yet again and I had what I had needed. This was like a current story. I could be wrong, but I believe Big Show and Vickie Guerrero had an affair when Big Doofus...umm Show.

The unattractive lady was Vickie Guerrero, Big Show was that heavy set looking guy, and Edge was the decent guy who culdn't believe what had just Transpired.

The three started to fuss. There was a huge argument. All of sudden, a cop enters the room and promises to take them all down if not, then he'll make their lives a living hell. I pictured this guy to be Cena. He obviously had problems with all three people as does Cena with La Familia and he's a cop.

Cena plays a cop in the upcoming WWE film 12 Rounds.

The cop blackmailed the woman. She must have been of important social status or cared about her social image because she was in tears. John Cena lost his World Heavyweight championship match against Edge on this week's RAW...there goes the rematch clause.

John must find a way to make it into the World Heavyweight title picture, or does he? It's John Cena for crying out loud, he has to be in the title picture. There has been talks and rumors of John Hogan...Cena (Great one Ray!) against Hulk Cena...Hogan. This cold is really getting to me.

Anyway, I'm going to ignore that for the time being unless something between the two is foreshadowed on WWE television. Cena is out of picture, how will he get in?

"YOU HAD AN AFFAIR!" The angry husband said.

"I PROMISE THAT ALL OF YOU WILL BE DONE!" The angry cop yelled.

I shut them out by returning to the back door and sitting behind the box. I tried to think of other possibilities, but this one is the most reasonable I suppose. Taker took Edge to hell at Summerslam in August and didn't return until Survivor Series in November.

A couple of months is plenty of time for an affair. I always wondered why the Big Doofus...Show always stuck around anyway. He was pretty much useless until now. I always thought Cena and Edge would face one on one for the belt, but silly me it's Wrestlemania we're talking about. Another year, another triple threat.

Since Wrestlemania XX, only Wrestlemania XXIII and XXI was able to avoid a triple threat world title match. Unless something happens, then I believe we'll be seeing those three face off. My head wasn't hurting as much during as I tried to relax in bed. Since I felt a bit better on the outside, I should check on the inside.

I traveled to the vault once again and the winds were calm. I approached the table of contents and went to PPV's. I went to the Wrestlemania anthology and pulled out Wrestlemania IX. I had another headache. Just looking at one of the worst Wrestlemanias had my head throbbing.

Since my head was hurting, the winds picked up and I ended up back in my bed...again. I saw Edge execute a sharpshooter. "He thinks he's Bret Hart?" Big Show faced Akebono in a Sumo match at Wrestlemania XXI, which he lost.

I'll go out on limb and label Show as Yokozuna. Every knows that Cena is dying to be a certain "real American," so he can play along as well.

Since Edge wants to do the sharpshooter, I'll play along and let him be Hart. I'm not comparing anyone here, just pointing out a bit of WWE recycling. Secondly, I'm not saying that the match will go down in the same format as the Wrestlemania IX match were Cena (Coughing)...Hogan wins the title after Hart loses.

I say its only a matter of time before Cena starts to get that dirt on Vickie. Since time is ticking, I'll give him a week or two.