Hello, my name is Karl Zimmerman, and I really like the WWE.
That being said, I understand most people's love/hate relationship with the sports entertainment industry. I can sympathize with the sports purists, who simply look down on the decided outcomes, and the soap opera-like story lines as nothing more than a very expensive children's show.
I can relate to the millions of adoring fans that think their favorite superstar is at the top of the athletic world, or buy that the Undertaker is supernatural, or think that Jeff Hardy was really really burnt from the pyro "accident".
This is my first article for Bleacher Report, so I'd like to give my background for you to better understand where my opinions are coming from.
I am a married 31-year-old from northeast Indiana. I am a father of three wonderful children.
Jakob is a 10-year-old boy, whose favorite wrestlers are Rey Mysterio and DX.
Chandler, my second son, is 7-years-old and loves the Hardys, CM Punk, and of course John Cena.
My baby girl Kendyll is 3-years-old and her favorites are the Undertaker, and surprisingly, the Boogeyman.
My wife's favs are dudes like Randy "Shiny" Orton and CM Punkin Pie, but more about that later.
I only started watching wrestling recently, with my first Raw being shortly after Wrestlemania 24.
As a child I knew of the WWF and Hulk Hogan, and Stone Cold when I was older, but I never cared enough to really look at the industry to see what it is that's good about this multi-million dollar corporation that keeps its fans from around the world coming back for more.
So, without further ado, the following is a list of the top reasons (in no particular order), that keep me, as a new fan, watching all three shows every week—along with occasional pay per view:
Monsters: I tell you right away, I love the Moscow Mauler, Vladimir Kozlov, although I really loved him when he came out to no music, now that's cool.
I love seeing the big men of the WWE lumber around the ring and do things to little people that should kill 'em.
Examples: Khali, Big Show, Kane, Kozlov, and I'll throw in Mark Henry, who I've found to be very good on the mic on ECW.
Divas: Come on, when else can I stare at scantily clad, unbelievably attractive women laying on each other? And some of them can actually wrestle.
Examples: Maryse, Kelly Kelly, Maryse, Candice Michelle, and did I mention Maryse?
The Hot Dudes: Now hold on, let me explain. I watch wrestling with my family.
You don't think my wife loves to watch half naked men roll around on each other?
What Maryse does for me, Chris Jericho does for her, and I can live with that.
Examples: Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, CM Punk, and she's telling me now that Evan Bourne is cute, like I didn't know that.
Overall Production: I'm a big fan of the way the WWE puts together their shows. I could do without seeing the same video clips three nights a week, but at least their put together well.
The announcers are also pretty good, the best being Jim Ross and Matt Striker. I could watch that team on all three shows and know that I'd be entertained.
The special effects, pyros, and music are all very well received by my family. I think the producers and workers behind the scenes should get a well deserved, "good job," for all their hard work.
Miz/Morrison: Man, these guys are talented. They're on every show, on the web, and on the brink of unifying the tag teams belts—which I think will be a well deserved accomplishment.
These guys have been working their asses off since I've been watching, and they're always up to the challenge of what the WWE throws at them.
Great on the Mic, creative with their cheating, and great as solo wrestlers (I watched the Rumble and Morrison was phenomenal, while the Miz took a humble poor showing like a champ).
High Flyers: Oh my Lord, if I could do the things that Evan Bourne can do, I'd join the circus and make the big bucks.
There's nothing more that the boys and I love than playing a top rope move or crazy head scissors in slow motion, and analyzing the "How the hell did they do that move?" moment on every show.
Examples: Rey Mysterio, Kofi Kingston, Evan Bourne, and Jeff Hardy
Heels: It's got to be tough to get up there on the mic, and look good while making people boo you. The really good ones will play off the crowd, and accelerate when thousands of people are yelling "You suck".
And who doesn't love seeing the bad guy get his just deserts?
What Jericho did last year against HBK set the bar for what I expect my heel to be. Orton is also going to a level that I think will cement his stature in the WWE for a long time coming.
I love Edge, but my patience is wearing thin after a year with the whole Vicki as Smackdown GM.
Santino: I DVR all three WWE shows, and the clips I most show involve the Italian Stallion.
I was guaranteed a laugh each week while he held the IC belt, and love hearing him yell random hilarity while in the Glamazon's corner. I also think I should note that the only official WWE apparel I own, is a Santino soccer shirt.
Well, that about sums it up for me. I hope I wasn't too long winded, or said anything to offend the life long fans of wrestling with decades of knowledge. I appreciate your time, and hope that you enjoyed reading this article as I did writing it.