The Doctor's WWE SmackDown Recap: The 134 Things We Learned, Loved and Hated
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to my weekly SmackDown recap list. I always appreciate my loyal readers, but for those of you who are new, each week I recap SmackDown with a long list.
The entries are made up of equal parts observations, humor, recap, play-by-play, revelations, speculations, questions, answers and anything else I notice during the show. I sometimes comment on commercials, too, just because I get bored during them.
I am approaching my 1,000th article here on B/R, so what I am going to try and do is make sure that the 1,000th piece ends up being a recap list. I am planning on trying to make it a special recap list somehow, so make sure and check back in the coming weeks to check it out.
I try and interject some fun into these lists, so I hope you have fun reading this week's list of the 134 things we learned, loved and hated from the show.
1. Things are going good. Doctor Who's new season is under way, my local gas station started carrying my favorite bakery's donuts and I found my missing hat.
2. You gotta enjoy the little things. WWE better not mess up my mood with a bad show.
3. The show starts with a recap of Sheamus nearly decapitating Ricardo Rodriguez on Monday night.
4. We see Alberto Del Rio and David Otunga helping Ricky into the arena while he is wearing a neck brace.
5. Otunga just turned into every injury lawyer on all those horrible infomercials.
6. We don't get paid unless you get paid. Come to Otunga Law Firm for all your injury needs.
7. Now imagine a guy who looks nothing like David Otunga saying that with a big caption reading "Not a lawyer, paid actor."
8. As the trio makes their way to the ring, Rodriguez sells like he got hit by a truck.
9. Del Rio talks about who he has beaten recently before even mentioning Rodriguez.
10. I think that in Del Rio's mind, Ricardo ranks right below a house cat.
11. Del Rio finally gets to the point. He wants The Brogue Kick banned.
12. They banned the punt, why not the Brogue?
13. Del Rio says Rodriguez is his only friend. Awwww.
14. Del Rio looks slick in a suit. He should wear them for segments where he is not wrestling all the time. It sells his "rich hell" gimmick.
15. Otunga mentions his Harvard credentials before going into the speech about Sheamus breaking several laws when he uses the Brogue Kick.
16. We see a compilation video of some of Sheamus' best kicks.
17. And of course, Ziggler sold it the best.
18. That was a great video. It was just quick enough to make a point and it really makes Sheamus look like a brute. I kind of like Sheamus more after watching that video.
19. Booker T comes out and is mad about Del Rio running his mouth in front of the people, so he is going to let the people decide if the Brogue Kick is banned.
20. They all says no. I am surprised they didn't do a no chant. It was just one long "No."
21. Josh Matthews is berated a little by Michael Cole before talking about Lawler possibly seeking legal help about his treatment.
22. Matthews talked about Sin Cara and Rey Mysterio's winning streak while plugging a match. It looks like they might be a tag team for a little bit.
23. It's about time.
24. That way they build up to a breakup and feud, and it would be interesting to see if WWE would turn either one heel or just have two baby faces out there slap-fighting each other.
25. I just gotta get this off my chest. So Daleks can look like people? WTF!?
Rate the show from 1-5 stars
26. Before the match, we see how Cara and Rey double-teamed Rhodes last week.
27. There's a lot of wrestling terms that sound dirty in the wrong context. I wonder how many wrestling conversations are just momentarily overheard and misunderstood completely.
28. Rey and Cars vs. Rhodes and Miz should be decent.
29. Cole calls Miz a triple crown champion. Isn't he technically a grand slam champion?
30. Miz and Rey start out. Miz does the heel move where he acts like he will break in the corner and then kicks Rey in the gut anyways.
31. Mysterio turns it around quickly and Cara tags in to hit a double-team kick to Miz that I have seen the Motor City Machine guns do in a million matches.
32. I really hope they end up as a tag team in WWE eventually. But they might get underused like London and Kedrick were.
33. We come back from a commercial to see Rey and Cara hitting a series of moves on Rhodes until Miz breaks it up.
34. Rhodes hits Mysterio with a running kick for a near fall.
35. Mysterio gets Rhodes down and starts crawling for the tag.
36. He makes it to Cara, who comes flying in onto Rhodes.
37. He hits all his signatures, but Rhodes avoids the senton. Miz makes the blind tag and kicks Sin Cara in the back to get back control for his team.
38. Rhodes tags in and hits a nice delayed front suplex on Cara for another near fall.
39. Cara fights him off and hits a back flip-type move that he and Rhodes had to try twice. I wonder why that didn't get edited to look like it worked on the first try.
40. Rey tags in and ends up getting kicked in the face by Miz for a near fall.
41. Rhodes accidentally kicks Miz in the face, which allows Rey to hit the 619 for the win.
42. Good match. A lot of back-and-forth action.
43. Daniel Bryan is backstage with Hornswoggle, who wants a hug. He settles for a handshake before stomping on Bryan's foot and running away.
44. Bryan does some breathing exercises to try and calm down.
45. Booker is backstage with Otunga after the break and they are arguing about keeping the Brogue Kick legal.
46. Otunga shows slides of the kick and I think I heard Ziggler get a pop when he was shown taking that kick.
47. I can't get past the lack of a beard on Otunga. It looks wrong.
48. Bryan tries to stay calm during his entrance as the crowd chants "Yes" at him.
49. He should have Harold with him trying to keep him calm.
50. Zack Ryder is out to face Bryan after the break. WWE has turned him into one of the most wasted characters ever. He was so popular and WWE just killed his push.
Match of the night:
51. Bryan hits several kicks while screaming, "No!"
52. He stays on Ryder with more kicks after a knee to the gut to get him down. He ends with a running kick for a near fall.
53. This one guy in the audience is trying to start a Ryder chant and no one will chant with him. That's kind of sad.
54. Ryder takes back control and hits a Broski Boot.
55. Bryan pulls a Ric Flair and begs for Ryder to leave him alone. He tries to apologize to Ryder and offers a hug. It's the middle of the match!
56. Ryder reluctantly hugs him, but Bryan uses it as a plot to lock in the No Lock for the submission win.
57. He puts it on after the match and the ref reverses the decision.
58. I love how the ref has to explain the reversal of decision while Ryder is still being tortured in the No Lock.
59. That is Ryder's biggest win in months and he had to get it by a decision reversal.
60. Orton is shown backstage before the break.
61. I'm so happy! Damien Sandow is out after the break and he talks about losing by countout to Sheamus.
62. Sandow just told people to stop tweeting and start reading. Awesome.
63. Randy Orton's music interrupts a classic Sandow promo.
64. I love how Sandow asks what Orton could possibly add to the conversation, and Orton says he wants to fight Sandow instead of whoever he was scheduled to face.
65. Apparently, Booker T made the match before Orton came out here.
66. Nice. Ziggler comes out in a Miami Vice suit to watch the match on commentary.
67. Orton and Sandow trade headlocks before Orton hits a shoulder block.
68. Sandow takes a breather outside the ring before locking back up with Orton.
69. Sandow gets the better of Orton and hits a series of shoulders to the gut in the corner.
70. Sandow bails again when Orton reverses an Irish whip.
71. Orton gets Sandow down and stomps on various body parts before picking him up so he could knock him back down with an uppercut.
72. Sandow breaks out of Orton's backbreaker and tries to run, but Orton meets him on the outside with a clothesline.
73. Ziggler is calling a lot of the play-by-play. Matthews has not said two words.
74. Sandow runs Orton into the steel post, but he runs away instead of following up.
75. He returns and runs him into the post again. He rolls Orton in the ring for a near fall.
76. After the break, we see Sandow still controlling Orton. Good match so far. This could be a major feud once Sandow really takes off, but he needs more time before he just starts beating the Ortons of the locker room.
77. Sandow misses a leaping knee drop and Orton comes back with a series of clotheslines and a powerslam.
78. Orton hits the rope-hung DDT with a big smile on his face.
79. Sandow escapes and runs to the back before Orton can hit the RKO. Terrible ending to a great match.
80. I am really not liking his portrayal as a coward. I understand doing it once as a way to get heel heat, but doing it repeatedly is unacceptable.
81. Ziggler and Orton meet on the outside and Orton blocks a punch and hits his own.
82. Ziggler gets powerslammed in the ring in what looked like one of the hardest and fastest powerslams Orton has ever hit.
83. Nobody sells like ZIggler. NOBODY.
84. Sandow runs back in and takes an RKO from Orton as Ziggler escapes.
85. Otunga is backstage, still threatening to sue everyone until he gets what he wants.
86. Booker books Otunga in a match with Sheamus while he considers the proposal.
87. All this will accomplish is give Otunga more first-hand evidence. I never really like the legal angles, so I hope this one ends in a couple weeks at Night of Champions.
88. Kofi, Truth and Little Jimmy are out for commentary for the Colons vs. Usos vs. Prime Time Players match.
89. I love the recent trend of wrestlers on commentary more often.
90. I wish the Usos entrance would have been shown on-screen.
91. I guess one man from each team is in the ring at the same time instead of the standard two. Interesting setup.
92. Primo gets the first tag of the match, as he and Epico lay into one of the Usos.
93. Primo takes out Young and an Uso before Titus O'Neil tags in and takes out everyone.
94. Young hits a nice suplex/pinning combination for a near fall.
95. Primo seems to be the one with the most control so far, but Jey Uso gets the tag and goes to work on Young and Primo.
96. He hits a nasty superkick into Primo to send him out of the ring.
97. He sends O'Neil and Epico over the ropes as well before hitting a Samoan drop on Young.
98. Jimmy tags in and then Jey goes flying over the top rope onto everyone outside the ring.
99. Young hits Primo with the gutbuster, and an Uso follows it up with a Superfly Splash.
100. Young throws an Uso from the ring and pins Primo for the win.
101. I guess PTP gets another title shot. If they don't win this time, then we need to see the Usos challenge and win the titles. They need a reign to have the opportunity to show what they can really do.
102. Eve Touts from Egypt.
103. Teddy Log is stopping Vickie and Dolph from going into the GM's office. Ziggler says he wants to face Orton again.
104. Ziggler says he wants to face him at Night of Champions and Long reminds him that he is not a champion.
105. He says he will still advise Booker to make the match.
106. If Ziggler is going over, then he should defend his case again. It would be a cool way to keep every match at the PPV for something more than just another win, and it would make Ziggler look strong by being willing to possibly sacrifice the case just to get at Orton again.
107. Awesome. Wade Barrett is out after the break with a new theme song to face Yoshi Tatsu.
108. Not sure how I feel about his entrance music.
109. Barrett squares off like a boxing match and misses a punch allowing Tatsu to get behind him.
110. He backs Tatsu into the corner and hits a few elbows.
111. Barrett knocks Tatsu down on the apron with a big boot.
112. I think Barrett deserves a bigger return than a squash match against Tatsu. He should have immediately been in a program upon his return.
113. Barrett finishes off Tatsu with a big elbow for the pin and the win.
114. Barrett gets on the mic and makes the same complaint I did about deserving more than a match with Tatsu for his return.
115. Barrett declares himself open for business, whatever that means.
116. I really hope he has a better 2013 than his 2012 went.
117. Del Rio is out to accompany Otunga for his match against Sheamus.
118. I have enjoyed this show for the most part, but this match has the potential to sway it in either way.
119. Sheamus backs Otunga into the corner and Otunga comes out with kicks.
120. Sheamus knees him in the chest to get back control and follows up by reversing a hip toss from Otunga into a clothesline.
121. Otunga knocks Sheamus from the apron and then rolls him in for a one-count.
122. Otunga hits some strange-looking punches to Sheamus' gut.
123. Sheamus takes back control and runs over Otnuga with a running elbow.
124. He hits the Irish Hand Grenades (I am trying to get that name to catch on after Booker called it that one night and no one ever repeated it).
125. Sheamus hits White Noise and sets up for the Brogue, but Booker comes out and says he has to ban it because of the dangers it poses.
126. I hate this storyline. This is a storyline they should use for Saturday Morning Slam, not SmackDown.
127. Sheamus takes forever to turn into Otunga, who makes an attempt at a clothesline.
128. Sheamus knocks him down and locks on the Texas Cloverleaf for the submission.
129. I have to point this out. Both White Noise and The Texas Cloverleaf were moves often utilized by Finlay, well before Sheamus ever used them. Coincidence?
130. The show ends with the champ celebrating his win.
131. Good show. I would have booked the Sandow/Orton match differently, but you can't have everything.
132. I like that ZIggler and Orton will get a PPV match, which could be a contender for match of the night if they both do as well as we all know they can.
133. The pairing of Mysterio and Cara could both help the tag-team division and eventually lead to a feud between the luchadors down the line, which is what everyone has wanted since day one.
134. Daniel Bryan is going to need something more to do soon or this gimmick will get old, fast.
Thanks for reading and please feel free to share your thoughts on tonight's show below.
On a personal note, I finally joined Twitter today, so follow me to be slightly amused on a daily basis.
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