The Dynasty Manifesto: Smackdown at MSG, the Deal of the Century

AkDSenior Writer IMarch 2, 2009

This has been one heck of a month already! Heck, only one day has passed! I boasted on how the news were off on the weather again. NYC weathermen...are idiots. They always promise the "snowstorm of the century" and everyone runs like frantic fools to Home Depot and the local supermarket buying up food and water as if the next day were judgement day.

Like always, the weathermen are wrong and I tease those who spent the time and money. I'm wasn't weatherman, but I got straight A's in Meteorology class. I was the resident weatherman. I don't always have the necessary equipment, but I always had a somewhat good estimation on the Dew Point, and the type of font passing in the area.

"Weatherman!" my peers would yell.

Had the physique of Shelton Benjamin, and the confidence of Randy Orton. Well, I was wrong this time....very wrong. The city was hit with the biggest snowstorm in years. Talk about March madness. I really didn't want to go to class tomorrow. I couldn't focus on my paper and hoped for a snow day. I thought as Edge as the ultimate opportunist, I was the the ultimate procrastinator.

My family are quite the business people as they love doing business. I can't believe we were hit by a snowstorm last night. My sister had a craving for Americanized Chinese food, so she cut me a deal.

I knew the wind gusts were about 25mph and visibility was close to none, so this had to be a pretty tempting deal I was about to be offered.

I had some Wendy's earlier and the burger didn't settle well, so I had the runs. Constantly in and out of the restroom for hours. I had class the next day....and the multi-page paper still wasn't completed.

"I want Chinese food, and I have an offer for you" she said smiling.

"Really? I said, trying to put some sort of poker face on.

"I saw you eyeing that Smackdown show at MSG in April". She paused.

"Get me my food and I'll buy you the ticket...consider it an early and late birthday gift".

My birthday is in April.

I knew it would be tough, but the store was right around the corner, so I was definitely taking a chance. I geared up...and headed out. I started to play Young Jeezy a favorite rapper of mine, on my Zune. The wind was fierce and almost went right through me. It was as if I had no clothes on.

The wind seemed to be coming from the west, so I wobbled at an about a 180-degree angle trying to break the wind. Snow was coming down heavily and swiftly, trying to look up was useless.

I reached for my Zune to put on Shelton Benjamin's "Ain't No Stopping Me" theme for encouragement and motivation, but somehow got R-Truth's "What's Up".

It was really cold and I had no gloves, so I made my last music switch...bad idea. I always known I shouldn't always put full albums on my music device. Unless it's a classic album, then they'll always be one or two songs that you aren't crazy about. So I was stuck with "Holla" Kelly Kelly's theme song.

My goodness, this was the last song I wanted to hear. Well I had to stay focused and determined...even though I was hearing a diva song. Not being sexist, it's just not encouraging. My knees began to grind when I traveled uphill towards the chinese store.

The hill was sort of steep and the wind gusts nearly knocked me off balance a couple of times. Visions of Foley falling off the cell came to mind. I grabbed a light pole and continued the fight for survival. My knees felt like Austin's knees when Bret Hart had him in the sharpshooter at Wrestlemania XIII. I had finally gotten to the store. It was closed.

NO! I didn't come this way for nothing. This wasn't a wrestling show, this was Smackdown! The main event was Randy Orton, Edge, and Matt Hardy vs Jeff Hardy, John Cena, and Triple H. I was a fan of both RAW and Smackdown, but I was biased and always preferred RAW.

I, in all of my years of being a WWE fan, had never been to Smackdown. I assumed that Vickie was still in control of both brands judging by the main event. I'm glad the barriers are being cracked a bit. Nevertheless, I headed for the next Chinese store with Smackdown on my mind.


I never got the chance to see them both on the same night though they used to be on RAW and even had a feud for the IC title. I moved ahead. The next store was about half a mile uphill.

I knew losing focus and letting that vault in my mind open would surely not be beneficial for me, so I reached in my pocket and finally changed to Young Jeezy music since I heard Kelly Kelly's "Holla" about four times on replay.

A huge wind came my way and a barrage of snowflakes practically dropped visibility to zero. The wind collided with my face and I began to tear. I thought of Ric Flair's Wrestlemania XXIV goodbye, but had to keep moving.

I took temporary shelter in the playground across the street from the Chinese store. I went under a slide and got quick vision of the Chinese store...IT WAS CLOSING! My knees still were weak after constant football (I'm called baby LT) and I had to rest it, but this was Smackdown on the line.

I power walked with a limp and tried to navigate the street. Cars were passing by as a another huge wind came hit. My hat flew off my head. I was in the middle of the street, but I dove for the hat (A Fur Russian Trooper hat that I love dearly).

I rolled across the rest of street.

I got up and fixed my hat. I thought of soviets, then Koslov. "I WANT COMPETITION!" I was obviously too hyped for wrestling. Thank goodness no cars were passing. Moaning on the ground, I got up and limped to the store.


I sounded as if I were begging for mercy.

"WE CLOSED!" NO MORE ORDAHS!" He hastily responded

"I Want some Pork fried rice and Chicken wings!" I flashed a $20.

"Okay...but quick!! Storm coming and It is late!".

It was 11:47pm.

"So you want Pork fry ric and Chicken wings?!" Not to sound stereotypical or racist, but all I could hear was Kung Fu Naki theme song in the store. I gave my order and brought an Iced tea as well. I took my time traveling home and was elated that I had made it to the Chinese food store.

I moved with the wind this time. I got an extra push while walking and scientifically speaking, it gets you moving faster. Apply it to ships that need to catch the wind for their sails. There was a bit more visibility and I had to get home before the next wave of gusty winds hit. I was really moving with the wind.

"The Weatherman strikes again!" I thought.

Going home, I passed by a Kennedy Fried Chicken. They're knock-off KFC's. In NYC, they're called chicken spots since you can get chicken anytime as most of them are open 24 hours. I thought of Mr. Kennedy and had hoped that he return from his injury.

I purchased a bottle of Pepsi from a bodega (local grocery store). CM punk's Killswitch Engaged theme started to play on my Zune, talk about perfect timing! I got home and the deal was made. My sister brought the tickets via Ticketmaster and I'll be able to add another oscillating moment(s) to the vault on Apr. 28 this year.

On a tangent, I hope to release Oscillating III in a month or two. I believe that is the only WWE show a MSG this year, so I was stoked. I'll be in the very arena that is shown at the end of RAW's opening sequence and the very same building that Wrestlemania XX as well as the original was held at.


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