2009 NFL Offseason Has Fans in Heartbreak Hotel

Nola ChickCorrespondent IMarch 2, 2009

Eagles' fans, we feel your pain. Sure, we hate you with a deeply-rooted and oft times blinding passion, but we both know what it feels like to never have won a Super Bowl and to always be on the bitch slap end of the cruel hand of football fate.

Oh...and we also know what it’s like to be heartbroken by one harsh reality: The NFL is a business.

When the Saints lost Deuce McAllister just a few weeks ago, grown men cried. (Oh, don’t play tough guy with us, mister. We KNOW you cried.)

The thought of not seeing our beloved DEEEEUUCCCEEE in a black and gold jersey made our stomachs turn. The thought of seeing him in some other team’s jersey made us want to stab something.

Now, Eagles' fans are getting a taste of the bitter pill that is NFL free agency with the release of their beloved Brian Dawkins.

It’s tough to swallow, ain’t it?

Eagles' fans are calling for the heads of the front office folks.

They’re waxing poetic on Dawkins' contributions over his 13-year career. They’re struggling to understand how this could happen or why it would happen. How could the Eagles let money get in the way of loyalty?

Shhh-shhh my pretties. Mama knows it hurts.

It’s not just fans living in Heartbreak Hotel. This offseason has been tough for players too.

The Patriots dealt QB Matt Cassel to the Chiefs like a frat boy passing around the drunk, easy chick to his roommates. “I’ll give you two beers for her. Nah, don’t worry about it. Just take her.”

Meanwhile, rumors of a possible QB trade have left poor Broncos' QB Jay Cutler feeling like a washed-up starter wife.

As for the ongoing Cardinals v. Kurt Warner saga, who knows whose feelings will end up crushed when the dust settles in the desert?

The one bright spot in all this? They’re keeping things interesting.

There’s even rumors on Rotoworld that the Chargers could lose their precious L.T. to guess who...the Saints. The mere thought of it, no matter how unlikely, probably has Chargers' fans reaching for a brown bag to breathe into.

These are strange days, my friends. Strange and painful days.