50 Ways to Know You're a Bleacher Report Writer

Cody Swartz@cbswartz5Senior Writer IMarch 1, 2009

We've all seen those lists before: “How to Know When You're Obsessed with Lost” or “You Know You're Addicted to Bodybuilding When...”


I thought I would try one for Bleacher Report. If you think of any I missed, let me know!


1. You check your Facebook as soon as you wake up...after you check Bleacher Report.

2. You keep a list of articles you plan to write.

3. You surf Bleacher Report during class or work.

4. You surf Bleacher Report more than you actually do your homework or work.

5. You have many friends you have never met.

6. You have many enemies you have never met.

7. You go on Bleacher Report first...and if there's time, you do your work or homework.

8. All your friends know you write for this website, but they can't understand why you spend so much time on it. It's just a website.

9. Some of your friends have created Bleacher Report accounts just to comment on your articles.

10. You've been on Bleacher Report until five in the morning.

11. You check Bleacher Report—not ESPN—for your daily sports news.

12. You friend request your fellow Bleacher Report writers on Facebook.

13. You've given a Pick of the Day vote to someone in hopes that they would give one to you.

14. You've become a fan of someone in hopes that they would become a fan of you.

15. You hate all the writers on your rival teams.

16. You're constantly comparing your stats with everyone else.

17. And you know all your stats by heart.

18. You think all of your articles are better than the ones that actually won Pick of the Day.

19. You wish Bleacher Report had status updates like Facebook.

20. You get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and you check your Bleacher Report profile.

21. You like Bleacher Report more than Facebook.

22. You hope to get a job one day for ESPN doing exactly what you do on Bleacher Report...but for money.

23. You wish you had a Bleacher Report shirt...except none of your friends would understand it.

24. You've cursed out a total stranger because he or she thinks your favorite player is overrated.

25. You will throw your defense, running game, receivers, and head coach under the bus, but you will defend your quarterback to the end.

26. In fact, ninety percent of what you do on this website is defending your quarterback. The other ten percent is criticizing someone else's.

27. You've read more articles about Brett Favre than you thought was possible.

28. You've read more articles about Brady vs. Manning than you thought was possible.

29. When a breaking news story occurs, you are one of 18 people to write an article about it. However, you know your article is better than all the rest.

30. Your ultimate goal is to be published on ESPN...but you'll settle for FoxSports, Yahoo, Yahoo Sports, CBS Sports, and any other blogs or websites.

31. You've had a dream about Bleacher Report.

32. You sit at your computer hitting refresh over and over again to see if anyone has responded to a comment on your article.

33. You get annoyed when you log on and see that you don't have any new comments on your articles.

34. You don't even bother to read someone's article if they're just a contributor or member.

35. You dread the posts on your bulletin board after your team loses.

36. You've learned not to mess with the old.

37. You've memorized most of your friends' profiles.

38. When you get bored, you surf your fellow writers' play-by-play to see if you can find anything interesting.

39. You wonder what it takes to be a community leader.

40. There's several people whose articles you continue to always read—even though you'll never become a fan of them.

41. You know all those people who aren't fans of you but should be.

42. You set goals for yourself—become the top writer for your team, then the entire sport, and eventually Bleacher Report on the whole.

43. You've envisioned a Bleacher Report touch football game.

44. You wish the site ranked the top 250 writers, not just 50.

45. You wonder what all those people who don't have a picture of themselves in their profile picture actually look like.

46. You've learned by now if you write an extremely controversial article, you'll get a lot more reads and a lot more comments.

47. You can't remember what you used to do in your free time before Bleacher Report.

48. You take notes during games so when you write about it later, you remember to mention everything.

49. When you watch a game and something big happens, you're already planning what to write in your article.

50. You feel Bleacher Report has made you a better person on the whole.


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    Greedy NFL Is Killing the Draft

    Mike Freeman
    via Bleacher Report

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    Report: Jets Closing in on Terrelle Pryor

    Joseph Zucker
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    Giants Trade JPP to the Bucs

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    Giants Trade JPP to the Bucs

    Mike Chiari
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    Message Sent: No One on the Giants Is Safe

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    Message Sent: No One on the Giants Is Safe

    Mike Tanier
    via Bleacher Report