March 1, 2009
WWE.COM Highlight Reel
"Break the walls down!"—"Cut the Music".
Jericho has a ice patch on his head. He turns his body towards the camera, but he is in serious pain. He looks for the words he wants to say and begins.
"Hello one and all...to the Highlight Reel".
Jericho pauses and looks defeated yet angry.
"Last Monday"—"CADE COME IN HERE!"
Jericho yells at former WWE superstar Lance Cade to come to his aid.
"Rub Bengay on my neck", he tells cade.
"Move that Camera!" Jericho is livid and the camera men turn away the camera.
WWE shopzone is now being shown. The HBK DVD and the Ric Flair DVD are shown.
"NOT SO ROUGH IDIOT!"
Jericho can be heard yelling at at Cade in the back.
"I want to address some things", says the superstar of the year.
"Last Monday I was brutally attacked. Raw, Orton, Vince, the McMahons, HBK, and you people were all behind the travesty that occurred. I'm the superstar of the year! They were jealous...envious. Orton was no longer No. 1 contender for the World Heavyweight Championship. I also happen to look better than him. HBK can't keep up with time".
"Tick Tock...Tick Tock". Cade adds in.
"Did you hear that HBK?"
"The clock on your career is ticking away as your erode as mother nature does her job. You knew this and then you proceed to superkick me. You knew that if I stepped in the ring with you at WrestleMania, I would have retired you".
Jericho leans back as Cade adjusts the ice pack on his head.
"You're on borrowed time Shawn. How much longer do you think you can last? I know your type. You're a leech. You're a parasite. You use stars like me to get some of that ol' spotlight that you desire to taste yet again. How does it feel Shawn?'
"I already see your fate; you'll be a washed up has been and become a official similar to Ric Flair. Do you see him HBK? The man is a joke. Whooo, whooo, trying to relive his glory days that were a millennium ago".
"HBK this isn't the '80s. You can't turn back time. I see that your a "born again" christian. Your a fake I see right through you. Your as transparent as Stephanie's shirts! Put on a some better clothing honey this is a business not a downtown night club!"
Jericho cracks his first smile since starting the show.
"Do something Steph...or right, I'm fired. You will regret that".
"Fathom this HBK; You are finished. You have no honor or dignity anymore. You have a family. I hate to walk down memory lane, but take care of them. They don't want be crying over daddy's grave. You'll end yourself HBK I won't. If it isn't the drugs, then your body will give out".
"Mr. WrestleMania will be the most heartbreaking story. HBK carried out on a stretcher and never seen again. Shawn, I told you so once, don't make me have to say it again. Prove me wrong shawn, PROVE ME WRONG!"
Jericho head is hurting as Cade tends to him.
He mutters some more words.
"The lights will fade, the band will stop tuning...there will be no music anymore Shawn. Speaking of Stephanie, she too was jealous of me. I was the superstar whose pants she couldn't get into..."Yes I'm going there...TWO DOLLAR TRASH BANG HO!"
Jericho's head is throbbing and he orders the crew to play the RAW Rewind.
Greg Bush's RAW was re-winded and can be seen here.
Clips of Jericho's tragic night was shown. The punt and the firing.
"I got news for you steph, I went to the board of directors. You can fire me, but I have appealed it. They told me that my chances of returning to RAW are slim as you won't re-hire me, but I have a clause in my contract".
"I CAN BE TRADED, I CAN GO TO ANOTHER SHOW!"
Jericho stands up, but Cade encourages him to sit back down. I really don't feel like returning to RAW , but I wouldn't mind dealing with the Has Been Kid and Orton. The voices in his head told him to take me out...or Stephanie could have promised to take him out if you know what I mean"!
I have some guests today. They called me after my tragedy and we hit it off. The guests haven't arrived, so Jericho orders the crew to put on the Smackdown Rebound.
A female walks in and makes herself comfortable as Cade gets her and Jericho some herbal tea. The Jeritron 5000 lights up an goes to Smackdown.
Ray Bogusz's Smackdown was Rebounded and can be seen here.
-Triple H and Edge nearly came to blows as Flair stepped in and told the two to save it for the ring. Edge would main event against Undertaker in the road to WrestleMania, but It would be Triple H who would be the victim of hell as he bled via mouth.
"I had a lot of time home while I rested and I surfed the we. Apparently RNN (Revolution News Network) thought I wanted to become one of their broadcasters. I have no intentions of working with those ASSCLOWNS Burgberg and Farell. WWE is currently reviewing my status, but don't cry Jerichoholics, I'm still in my contract".
"Don't be rude, introduce me"
The woman was giggling and Cade began to speak.
"Ladies and Gentleman...our first Guest of the night, The Sensational Sherri!"
Get me an Aspirin! Jericho yells at Cade and then smiles with Sherri
"I know you were a sensation Women's champion, but how did you view Shawn Michaels?"
"He was out of control. Yelling, drugs, drinking...he hit me once"
Sherri starts sobbing
"It's okay Sherri, don't cry, Jericho is here to make it all better. How can you cheer for a man like this people? The man is clearly a nut, who is constantly praised by you people. You all are incompetent idiots! I said it a year back, and I have to say it again".
"On a side note I would like to thank Matt Hardy for his speech on SmackDown. You people cheer a junkie like Jeff Hardy? Just like HBK...You people disgust me. As for Christian, he thinks he's big around here huh? How long were you gone? How long were you in Total Nonsensical A-holes?!(TNA)"
"I was dominating Raw, and you had to attack a man who was down after being blindsided by a washed up has been. I watched the world respond on what happened to me, and I have to say that the response is neutral to my feelings. There is one exception though. It's a radio show".
"I used to listen to these guys every Wednesday at 6pm to 7:30pm EST. When I was ousted on RAW, I asked these guys to bring me on the show. You know Sugar Shane, D-Stokes and D-Brown, not the washed up D'lo. I was turned down as they rather have people on their show like people from ROH, and Harley Race, another man whose time was up centuries ago. I hope your watching...all three of you, especially Sugar Shane".
Jericho attacked Sensational Sherri and put her in the Walls of Jericho. Sherri yells out in agony and Cade picks up the mic.
"THIS IS A SUPERSTAR, THIS IS A MAN, THIS IS THE BEST IN THE WWE, THIS IS WHAT YOU NEED TO SEE, THIS IS THE FUTURE, THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF A SEXY BEAST! WATCH HBK! WATCH!"
Cade nearly pops a blood vessel as Jericho leaves Sherri unconscious on the ground. Out of nowhere Sherri gets a gutwrench powerbomb onto the ground. Jericho gets back on the couch and smiles.
"Folks my next guest ECW champion Jack Swagger!"
"Tank you. I'm the all-American American Jack Swaggah!"
Cade shields Jericho from the saliva barrage that Swagger is giving off. Swagger is alone due to the beating his faction got by the hand of Tommy Dreamer.
"Personally I believe that ECW is a circus from hell, but I have to say your a great wrestler Swagger. I've seen team Swagger in action...and I'm impressed. You guys need to turn that circus into a show"
"Thas Right!" Swagger spreads more saliva.
"Okay that is right", Jericho wipes off the saliva.
"For those of you who didn't see team swagger dominate then today's your lucky day".
The Jeritron 5000 loads up two weeks of ECW and the damaged No Way Out footage, which finally works now.
"SHOW ALL OF THEM!"
Jericho yells at the stage crew while he, Cade and Swagger direct the paramedics to Sensational Sherri, who received the Walls of Jericho and Gutwrench powerbomb earlier.
The lost ECW Elimination Chamber match from No Way Out footage is shown
Jericho grabs the mic.
"I don't care if I end up on SmackDown or not, I will be a WWE world champion. I will be main eventing WrestleMania no matter the brand I'll be representing. Raw or SmackDown understand this..."Orton, Christian, and Shawn, I WILL get you".
"THAS RIGHT! Dreamerrr! You Phinished!!" Swagger adds in.
Jericho, Cade and Swagger walk off the set as Jericho's theme plays. The lights fade and the show ends.
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