Not So Serious Random Thoughts About The WWE

Lanny PoffoCorrespondent IFebruary 27, 2009

As I write this first humor article, I'm wondering why I don't just make it an opinion article instead.  That way there's no expectations for me to be funny.  If I am, I am.  But now everyone see's humor, and I'm supposed to make people laugh, or I'm a failure. 

What is a Humor article anyway? 

Jokes? - Triple H to Randy Orton - "RKO my wife..... please."

Were the other two people in the wrestling audience who didn't already know, while watching Trip's interview with JR on Smackdown like, "Oh! That's why they keep letting him win all those titles!"

I can't help wonder how Rock from 1999 would cut a promo on Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.  He'd probably do his Kurt Angle voice and say, "Hi I'm Dwayne Johnson. I like to star in kid's movies. I smile with all my teeth showing now. I like to host kids awards and drink milk. Don't call me the Rock anymore because then people will associate me with that company that  does steroids. By the way, I've lost 50 pounds of muscle in the last four years".

You know, before I saw the end of Raw this week, I had seen the look on Trips' face when Stephanie was RKO'd, and heard the emotion in his voice... "mother of my children..." and I knew he was mad, but I wasn't sure how mad. 

Then I saw Raw.  Not one, but TWO sledge hammers!  If I actually watched wrestling with someone else as opposed to watching it by myself while my family is sleeping, I would have turned to that person while "The Chase" was happening and said, "Wow, he's really really MAD!"

Mike Knox almost made all of our wishes come true and put Jamie Noble out of the company for good... Oh too soon?

I love Ricky Steamboat, but he's starting to look like the lady who does my mother's nails.

I love Chris Jericho.  The serious heel persona is great, but I think it's just about going to run its course after Wrestlemania.  Okay, we get it... we're all a bunch of hypocrites.

I heard that JBL was mad that he lost the rights to HBK's name.  He was ready to sign an endorsment deal with Depends.

I once beat my brother in tennis twenty straight times.  That feat should be considered more spectacular than the Undertaker's streak.  You know why?  Because the outcome was not predetermined.  If they had decided to give El Egante the push he so richly deserved, we wouldn't even be having this conversation.

Why would they show Wrestlemania 9, when Hart lost to Yokozuna, and Hogan jumped in and won the belt.  That was one of the most embarrassing.... ok, who am I kidding, I marked out for it as a fifteen year old.

I've recently replaced all of my Chuck Norris jokes with Shane McMahon ones.

Ivan Putsky is and will always be a very funny name.

Until next time.