Michael Phelps' Last Dance With Mary Jane.

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Michael Phelps' Last Dance With Mary Jane.

As a dedicated "athletic supporter," I didn't think twice about throwing on my "Got Phelps?" sweatshirt today to run a few errands.

 

I've been a Michael "Phelps Phan" for years, long before he took the gold medal in bong hits.

 

By the reactions of judging eyes, you would have thought my sweatshirt read "I just sparked up a doobie with Phelps!"

 

C'mon people, I haven't seen him in months!

 

I think the last time we hung out was in November of last year at some silly little college party, in South Carolina: get over yourselves!

 

Phelps has experienced a massive backlash over behavior that he admits "was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment."

 

He has been suspended from competition for three months by USA Swimming and many of his speaking engagements have been cancelled.

 

Kellogg's made the decision not to renew his contract which expires at the end of this month and Subway not only dropped his sponsorship deal, they have "de-linked" any reference of him from their website, virtually erasing any involvement between the Olympian and the Franchise.

 

If both food-based companies had just researched the effects of THC on the brain before jumping the gun and firing him, then they might have realized that it was a blessing in disguise.

 

In this struggling economy, his sponsorship could have been a cash cow!

 

THC is very similar to a natural chemical in the brain that triggers hunger. When the THC binds to the chemical receptors it stimulates the hunger hormone which in turn brings on some righteous munchies—of course, I am being facetious.

 

Smoking pot is illegal and for that reason alone it is wrong, but in a sports world saturated with steroids and demeaned by doping, I  am a bit surprised by the uproar that one photo has caused.

 

What is the real issue here?

 

Did he bogart the pipe?

 

In a day and age when the country is crumbling around us why is this still front page news?

 

Society put him into a glass house and now we are outraged by what goes on behind the transparent walls.

 

I applaud him for standing up and admitting fault, for being one of us, for simply being human.

 

Yes, Phelps is a modern day hero; a paragon of sorts, but I would venture to say that the last three gentlemen who we nominated to serve as our Chief Executives: The Presidents of the United States truly epitomize the definition of role model.

 

Our last three Presidents have all admitted to drug and alcohol use.

 

Bill Clinton confessed to marijuana use, although he "didn't inhale."

 

Barack Obama did.

 

"That was the point" he once told an audience of magazine editors.

He even admitted to trying "a little blow" (cocaine) before entering the political arena.

 

George W. Bush admitted to "drinking too much" as a young man.

 

He was arrested in 1966 for "disorderly conduct" after a "few beers" and stealing a Christmas wreath from a hotel.

 

In 1976, Bush was arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol near his family's summer home in Kennebunkport, Maine.

 

He admitted his guilt, was fined $150 and had his driving license in the state suspended for two-years.

 

He refused to discuss marijuana use from his past stating “I wouldn’t answer the marijuana questions … you know why? Because I don’t want some little kid doing what I tried.”

 

Read between those lines.

The point is, these men, through influence and recognition, went on to become the highest political officials in the country.

 

We the people entrust our livelihood to these powerful men regardless of their personal indiscretions.

 

We accepted it and moved on.

 

So, why are we so hung up on the Phelps scandal?

 

Why was his date with "Mary Jane" so unforgivable?

 

When will the negative Phelps phandemonium end?

 

It's time … puff, puff give already!

 

Can't we all just get a bong?

 

Comic liberty and "hip slang" were used in this article, but for the record, despite owning a "Got Phelps" sweatshirt, the author is not a pothead, not even close!

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