I'm Sorry: A Template for All Future MLB Player Apologies

Tom KerestesCorrespondent IFebruary 26, 2009

I have had enough of hearing about who used steroids in the MLB. While this article does not help my cause (perhaps I owe an apology), there is something that I am even more tired of and want to address: players' apologies that get them in more trouble.


Alex Rodriquez recently went public with his usage of Boli in a speech and then Q&A session at a formal press conference. I'm sure his goal was to put his steroids' discussion to rest.


Unfortunately, that hasn't been the case—mainly because of all of the holes that were in his speech.


Well, I have a solution. All English-speaking players can use it. A Spanish version should be coming shortly. It simply requires filling in a few blanks, and any Major League Baseball player is ready to apologize.


So, without further delay, I give you my "Sorry for Steroids Template."




First of all, I want to say thank you to all of the members of the media for being here today, and all Major League Baseball fans watching on TV or listening on the radio, for giving me a chance to speak here today.


I would also like to thank my wife, (ENTER NAME), my family, my friends, and all of my teammates and members of the (ENTER TEAM) organization who are here today and have supported me through all of this.


I have come here today to speak with you all and come clean about a regretful decision that I made earlier in my baseball career.


Since I began playing baseball when I was (ENTER AGE) years old, I have worked extremely hard to reach my goal of making the big leagues. I was fortunate enough to have this hard work and dedication help me achieve my goal of becoming a professional baseball player, when I joined the (ENTER TEAM) organization in (ENTER YEAR).


After accomplishing that goal, I moved on to new goals—mainly becoming one of the best players in baseball and helping my team win. As many of my (ENTER TEAM) teammates can testify, I have always had an extremely hard work ethic, and most decisions, that I have made, have been to help me reach that goal.


In (ENTER YEAR), I began to feel as if the challenge to be the best was becoming more and more difficult. So, regretfully, I looked for any boost that I could find.


After speaking with my (ENTER RELATIONSHIP), (ENTER NAME), he told me that he knew a guy in (ENTER LOCATION) where he could get a supply of (ENTER DRUG), which was supposed to help provide an energy boost.


We decided to give (ENTER DRUG) a try, as I thought an additional boost during my workouts would be helpful in keeping pace with the rest of the league.


In no way, am I suggesting what the habits of other major league baseball players have been. I am simply stating my thoughts that this energy boost could be helpful in making me the best, as was my goal.


I, of course, now regret that decision, and would like to apologize to everyone who has supported me over the years for my actions. It was stupid of me to think that a boost like that was necessary, and more importantly, I should have realized the shadow that it could cast over my (ENTER TEAM) teammates and the rest of Major League Baseball.

To all of you, I am sorry.


I can’t say with any certainty how much (ENTER DRUG) helped my performance. I think when you look at the years (ENTER YEARS) when I was using (ENTER DRUG), versus (ENTER YEARS) when I was not, you see no clear difference.


I know that I did feel more energy during my workouts during that time, but I also feel increased energy now when I drink something as simple and acceptable as (ENTER ENERGY DRINK).


I was never truly aware of what lines I was crossing by taking (ENTER DRUG). Clearly I never asked any of my (ENTER TEAM) trainers about (ENTER DRUG) because it did not seem to be something that should be discussed in the clubhouse. And more clearly, this should have been an obvious sign to me to not use it.


Again, for that—I am deeply sorry. At this point, all I can do, and all I ask of you, is to look forward.


It was the sole results of my own stupidity that led to such a poor decision. I can say that I haven’t used (ENTER DRUG) or any other performance-enhancing drug since (ENTER YEAR).


My workout regimen and work ethic remain just as hard as they have always been. I have no doubt that my hard work, alone, will be enough to help me continue my goal of being the best baseball player that I can, and more importantly, it will help me and my (ENTER TEAM) teammates have a special season.


I am not allowed to say that I would agree to more regular drug testing, as that is a decision for the MLB Union to make. However, I can say that, if they were to agree to it, that decision would have my full support.


Lastly, I just want to address the fans directly—I am sorry.


I want to set the record straight, as a role model to every kid who has the same goals that I had when I was (ENTER AGE). It is wrong to use performance-enhancing drugs.


Everything you want to accomplish can be achieved with hard work and dedication to practice every day. Always remember that. That is what got me into the major leagues, and that is what is going to help me and the (ENTER TEAM) win in 2009.


Thank you.