Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.
1. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth won his second consecutive race, taking charge late and holding off Jeff Gordon to win the Auto Club 500 in Fontana. In leading a race-high 84 laps, Kenseth became the first driver to start the season with two wins since Gordon triumphed twice to begin 1997.
“I guess duplicating Gordon’s feat puts me in ‘fast company,’” says Kenseth. “And ‘fast company’ is better than ‘fist company,’ which is what you call being around an angry Carl Edwards. Who’s the big shot now, Carl? The only time you’ll raise a hand to me now is when you want to ask me a question.”
“As for Gordon, it’s always cool to be compared to a four-time Cup champion, although the last time I was this close to Gordon, he shoved me into next week at Bristol in 2006.”
2. Jeff Gordon: Gordon led entering the final pit stops in Fontana, but Matt Kenseth won the race out and led the final 37 laps to deny Gordon the win.
Gordon shadowed Kenseth in the closing laps, but was unable to get close enough to attempt a pass. Gordon’s winless streak now stands at 43 races, but two successful runs to start the season point to an end of that streak.
“We lost this race in the pits,” says Gordon. “You know, there was a time when the ‘Rainbow Warriors’ set the standard for remarkably fast pit stops, as well as outlandishly garish uniforms. Now, the only thing ‘colorful’ about them is the language I used to berate them. I told my crew they couldn’t hold the jock straps of Matt Kenseth’s ‘Killer B’s’ pit crew. In NASCAR terms, my guys couldn’t ‘lug their nuts.’
3. Kyle Busch: Busch swept the Camping World Truck and Nationwide races on Saturday, and became the only driver to win two races in any of NASCAR’s top three series on the same day. His quest for the trifecta fell short, although his third in the Auto Club 500 was quite welcome after his 41st in the Daytona 500.
“Dale Earnhardt, Jr. said he felt bad for 80% of the drivers that were involved in his wreck at Daytona,” says Busch. “The other 20%, he could care less about. I’d just like to know in which category I stand. I’m guessing I’m in the ‘minority report.’”
“But that’s okay. I understand the pressure Junior’s under to live up to the accomplishments of a more famous relative. I’ve been there. There was a time when I worried that I would never win a Sprint Cup championship like my brother Kurt. Now, I don’t even worry about it.
"I’ve found success on my own terms. Kurt and I have both found our niches in this sport. I’ve beaten nearly every competitor I’ve faced, while Kurt’s been beaten by nearly everyone. That’s why I’m surprised Kurt’s first name is abbreviated as ‘Ku.,’ instead of ‘Ko.’”
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