On RAW 1000, CM Punk did the unthinkable. Not only did he not help a fellow babyface from a mugging at the hands of a 500-pound giant, he turned on the WWE Universe and took out The Rock. It was a heel turn, plain and simple—Jerry Lawler made sure we understood the fact.
But the very next week, Punk clarified his actions. He was doing exactly what he said he would. His historic "shoot" promo had been all about bringing relevance to the true wrestlers. He had always said that he hated what the McMahons were doing by putting too much money and hype behind "Dwayne" and Cena at the expense of everybody else.
The fans had agreed. They had cheered wildly as Punk took the WWE title and left.
But as soon as Punk left, they found a way to make Cena the pretender to the throne. Punk came back and put him in his place. Yet even while Punk was the WWE champion, he was kept away from main events and spotlights. Even facing people like Big Show and John Laurinaitis, Cena was the main event. And not only did he main-event everything, he also got a WWE championship match by winning Money in the Bank under dubious circumstances.
Is it Punk's fault that Cena tried to cash in the briefcase while he was still in a de facto feud with Big Show?
Punk had nothing to do with either man, so he let them face each other. But when Dwayne tried to steal one more spotlight, it was too much. He got his WrestleMania match, he made himself a match for the Royal Rumble and he wanted to steal Punk's spotlight on Raw 1000. That was one step too many.
Which brings us to RAW 1001. Cena had already wasted his opportunity. Big Show had interfered in a WWE title match. Why were these two men given an opportunity at the title? Punk was right to assert that both Cena and Show were losers and had no job receiving title shots. (Perhaps someone like The Miz, who had actually won something important on Raw 1000, would be worthy.)
But the RAW general manager isn't someone to make rational decisions. No, she is clearly not very stable mentally. Not only is she unfit for the job, but the entire buildup to her appointment is a conspiracy against the true wrestlers of the WWE.
Now, at SummerSlam, Punk will have to defend against two opponents, neither of whom deserve the match. Not only are the odds stacked against Punk, but there is the possibility of even more people interfering in the match in order to make sure that he does not walk out as the WWE champion. And since triple-threat matches are contested without disqualification or countout, it will all be legal.
This is what will probably happen. Somebody will interfere—there is a high probability that he will be a movie star—and lead to CM Punk getting distracted while John Cena pins the Big Show. Or worse, somebody will distract CM Punk enough to be knocked out by a right-handed punch from a giant.
Either way, you as a WWE fan will cheer that movie star. You will cheer John Cena as he again becomes the WWE champion. You will cheer whoever the McMahons and their overrated son-in-law tell you to cheer.
And that is the conspiracy against CM Punk and the true art of professional wrestling.
Note: This is merely a conspiracy theory from the viewpoint of the "CM Punk" character and is not meant to offend anyone, regardless of age and/or gender. Offended or not, you may leave your comments for discussion below.
Like the new article format? Send us feedback!