Beware Sports Fans: "The Black Six Weeks Of Sports" Are Coming.

Zachary WishnovContributor IFebruary 23, 2009

It is coming, and in due time, life will be miserable. You will go into a state of depression. You will mope around. Your family, friends, and loved ones will become worried. You will consider suicide.

Nothing terrible happened to you, but it happens every year. No, it isn't a crappy tax return, a pay cut, or your football team losing. It is much worse. What is worse than losing? How about nothing happening at all?

My family has coined a term which I want to be spread around like wild fire in the sporting community which is entitled—the Black Six Weeks of Sports.

I was raised on watching football and basketball and despising baseball, hockey and golf. I love playing golf but cannot stand watching those sports because of how slow, low-scoring and potentially boring they always are.

Don't get me wrong, baseball is America's past time, but at the same time, all the cheating and steroids and no salary cap and no definitive ending play to a game is pathetic to me.

Or maybe it's the fact that a pitcher makes $20K a pitch.

Anyway, football is my life. I live and breathe the Philadelphia Eagles. When training camp starts, it is like a whole new world opens up.

I read up on every player and coach, I memorize the schedule and I start planning for Sundays off from work.

Football season comes full-swing and halfway through the season, my other sport, basketball begins.

The 76ers have been mediocre since 2001, but I still enjoy watching sick dunks, a possible playoff berth, and Superman bouncing the ball of the side of the backboard and slamming it down while losing to a midget who has done the same dunks other people can do in their sleep.

When football season ends, I feel like I need a new hobby to take its place because of a lack of fantasy football, and I have Sundays free since I spend less time reading about my team.

But at least I have football, for now. As soon as the basketball season ends, the black six weeks begins.

"The Black Six Weeks" consist of the time between the end of the basketball season and the beginning of football training camp. The only things on SportsCenter are highlights of someone hitting a home run (seen it), someone catching a ball in an unusual way (seen it), a hockey fight (seen it) or a good putt from Tiger (seen it over and over).

Sports is over during that time period and ESPN is considered to be a blackout in my household. It is the time to pull out the recordings from seasons past and hope you don't remember the outcome so you can still root for your team. It is a time to start sewing, or joining a club, or maybe checkin out some new X-rated sites (for all you guys out there who are single or married).

In only a few short months, "The Black Six Weeks" are upon us. Mark it on your calendar. Warn people in your neighborhoods. Be prepared because whether you are ready for it or is coming.