When Print News Dies, What Will I Read In The Bathroom?

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When Print News Dies, What Will I Read In The Bathroom?

Everyone keeps saying it, the newspaper industry is dying.  There is even a blog titled, "New York Times Death Watch." Take heed, the end is near. However, if the day finally comes when there is no longer a newspaper to pick up at the end of the driveway, how will we cope? 

Don't get me wrong I like perusing the world wide web for news as much as the next person but there is something special about physically touching a paper.  The on-line world cannot replicate turning the pages of a newspaper, getting ink stains on your hands, or taking the paper into the bathroom for some heavy duty reading. 

I mean seriously, what will we do? Bring Kindle (the wireless reading device) into the bathroom as we read the Sunday morning sports page. Sorry, but it won't have the same effect.
There is something truly sacred about the newspaper/bathroom combo, and while progress is always good, the death of print news is anything but positive. Reading about sports in the bathroom is a long held tradition—one that many of us hold dear.
From the sports section of the paper to a Sports Illustrated magazine, lots of reading gets done on the John. Countless times I've relived Tiger Woods victories, LeBron James triple-doubles, and Rafael Nadal/Roger Federer thrillers while sitting on the throne.
There's really nothing like it—a big bowl of cereal, a tall glass of O.J., and the morning newspaper. With a triple threat combination like that, nobody can bring us down.
Well pretty soon, or so the media moguls predict, it will no longer be cost effective to print the news. All the information we seek—from new scoring records to salacious gossip about the stars will be found on-line.
While that might be all well and good for those in the business, I'm still at a loss for the void that must be filled.
What sort of reading material will find its way onto the bathroom bookshelves when the newspaper is dead and gone? Let's hope it's something about Tiger Woods breaking the Golden Bear's golden record of 18 grand slam titles. With news like that, I may be able to turn the page and survive another day.
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