Penguins-Flyers: Martin Biron Mimicks the U.S. Federal Government of 1799

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Penguins-Flyers: Martin Biron Mimicks the U.S. Federal Government of 1799

Flyer fans continue to show their inability to learn. You boo Sidney Crosby, and he is going to light you up. Two goals and two assists later, Flyer fans will still boo Sid the next time he comes to town.

This game started out like a typical Pittsburgh-Philthy game. Bodies were flying all over the ice, Scott Hartnell was pretending to be a skilled hockey player.

Hartnell cross-checked Sergei Gonchar in the back once, twice, three times before the whistle was blown and Jokenell went to the box.



Kimmo Timonen, who couldn't lace Gonchar's skates in his sleep after four cases of Iron City Light, took another penalty to give the Pens a two-man advantage.

Nothing happened on the power play. Joffrey Lupul scored around the midpoint of the period, no surprise there.

Godard and Cote dropped the mitts, but Cote thought Godard was Mike Richards for a second and wrapped his arms around his chest, pulling him toward the ice.
Before he could plant a passionate kiss on him, the linesman stepped in and slipped Cote his number before escorting him to the sin bin.

The first ended with the Flyers enjoying a one-goal lead.

The Pens didn't waste any time tying the game up in the second period. Malkin to Tank to Crosby, top shelf.

Biron as a starter = Flyers never make it out of the Eastern Conference playoffs

About seven minutes later, on the power play, Sergei Gonchar made another unreal play. Gonch got the puck to the net through some traffic. Sykie deflected it high in the slot, then Geno got a piece of it down low to fool French Toast. 2-1 Pens.

The Pens kept coming, as Ruslan "Scoring Winger" Fedotenko continued his absolutely phenomenal play lately by burying a goal off of a nice pass from Pascal Dupuis. 3-1 Pens.


Dupuis finally played an effective game. He always plays a balls-to the-wall style of hockey, but it rarely shows in the score sheet. This afternoon, however, Dupuis was rewarded with three assists.

3-1 Pens heading into the second period felt pretty good, but there was still a lot of hockey to be played.

The Flyers started the third period by taking a penalty. Upshall got his stick under Crosby's skate blades and Sid went down. Was it a penalty? Absolutely. Did Crosby embellish the call? Ask him.

The Pens went on the power play, well aware that Mike Richards thrives in odd-men situations.



Ryan Whitney gives the people of Pittsburgh one more reason to despise him with a passion as he makes the worst pass in the history of professional hockey across the blue line. Yeah, Gonch was wide, but you just don't make that pass, ever.

Richards scored, Coburn scored a couple of minutes later, and before you knew it, the Pens were about to flush two more points down the drain.

Fedotenko wasn't done yet. Dupuis made a great hustle play to wash out an icing call and get the puck to Crosby at the side of the cage.
Sid throws a shot toward the net and the worst goaltender in the NHL gives up a juicy rebound. Scoring Winger buries it. 4-3 Pens.

Dupuis takes a hooking penalty seconds after the goal, giving the Flyers the momentum.

Nothing happens on the power play, but Mike Knuble scores an absolutely gut-wrenching goal to tie the game with just about five minutes to play.

The game winds on, neither team wanting to make a mistake. Then, it happened.

Mimicking the United States Federal Government of 1799, Martin Biron leaves Philadelphia.

French Toast realizes he is about to get called for delay of game, but forgets that his teammates like balls, and scoring shorthanded goals.

Biron just drops the puck. Of all the things to do in that situation, you choose to just drop the puck? "Here you go, Pascal, win the game."

Dupuis scoops up the loose biscuit (surprisingly Dups kept his cool in the situation and didn't blow the opportunity) and gets it toward Sidney Crosby in the slot.

Sid pool cues a shot into the gaping cage, Biron contemplates suicide, Hartnell re-applies some face paint.


The Flyers pull Biron (the best coaching decision of John Stevens' career) but can't get the job done. Max Talbot misses the open net, probably because he was still laughing at Biron.

The Pens hold on, and ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has just left the building.

Final Score: Pittsburgh 5 Philthadelphia 4


2-0-1

- A consistently healthy Pittsburgh Penguins lineup would be in the top 8 right now. No questions asked.

- Did anyone else forget just how good Sergei Gonchar is?

- Martin Biron... HA HA HA HA.
- How Hal Gill and Ryan Whitney can play in front of Kris Letang is baffling.

- Big game on NBC tomorrow against the Caps.

Let's Go Pens
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