The Best and Worst of the Biggest Show on Earth + Predictions
Well it's only about a month away to what J.R likes to call 'the biggest show on earth' so I thought I try and be second to do a 'greatest [insert whatever the hell you feel like] list'.
I was going to do a Wrestlemania themed article but Ross pipped me to the post and did a 'greatest mania matches' slideshow (and did a pretty damn good job if I may say myself) so I thought I'd look a right clown if I did practically the same article on the same day.
So stuck for an article I went away an watched a couple of episodes of LOST (which by the way is the greatest show on earth) and after a couple of entertaining hours I decided that I'd expand on my original idea and do what I did with the Rumble a while back and just roll everything into one ball and do more that one 'Mania list.
Being 14, chances are I'll forget something that happened at 'Mania II (the VHS is sat collecting dust somewhere) so don't be too harsh if you comment.
So here goes ...
1. Wrestlemania 10 - If only they could make more 'Mania's like this, a brilliant opener with Owen v Bret and then the greatest ladder match of all time with Ramon v HBK, plus at the MSG 'the home of wrestlemania'.
2. Wrestlemania 3 - The first great Mania, had Steamboat v Savage which I would say was the third greatest IC title match of all time (just edged out by B.Bulldog v B.Hart at Summerslam 92 at No. 2 and HBK v Ramoan at Mania 10 at No. 1) and probably the most replayed moment in WWE history when Hogan scoop slammed Andre.
It was probably at this event that made WWE 'huge' (well, that was before it went crap around 2002/2003 anyway).
3. Wrestlemania 17 - The best wrestlemania of the 21st century (easily), hopefully WWE will repeat their performance this year when they return to Houston. Had TLC 2, Austin's heel turn, Vince v Shane, Taker v HHH, Angle v Benoit and a triple threat hardcore match.
4. Wrestlemania 14 - Nearly all the matches were very watchable and had what I thinks is the greatest big man match of all time with Undertaker v Kane (when Kane was used as a monster and had his mask), plus no one kicked out of the tombstone but Kane kicked out of two and nearly a third.
5 - Wrestlemania 24 - Consistently good and the best of the 18 onwards Mania's, the MITB match is the biggest spot-fest (bar TLC 2) I think I've ever seen plus a very good main event and a brilliant WWE title triple threat. Not to mention Flair v HBK.
1. Wrestlemania 9 - I could call this PPV all day, luckily I wasn't alive when this PPV happened otherwise I don't think I'd have liked WWE (but judging by the trash we get today is that such a bad thing?).
So many gimmicks it was like watching TNA Impact (well maybe not that bad). The opener was alright (HBK v Tatanka possibly) but that ended in a count out, all the rest was crap and had the worst ending to a PPV of all time when Hogans ego got bigger than Yokozuna's fat ass and he ended up winning the title somehow.
Plus, J.R in a toga.
2. Wrestlemania 11 - Possibly the first of many WWE PPVs that was even the slightest bit watchable because of HBK's match (v diesel this time around), but even then he lost after winning the Rumble from #1. Why the hell was Bam Bam Bigalow and an NFL player in the maina event, I first watched this PPV on VH when I was 8 was probably the first time I thought I'd rather watch HBK wrestle his shadow than most of the matches WWE puts on.
3. Wrestlemania 13 - WM 1 could easily go here but it had Mr. T, so it gets a few extra points. Besides one of the best matches of all time everything on the card was crap.
GREATEST WRESTLEMANIA MATCHES
1. Steve Austin v Bret Hart (13) - Now do you see why I didn't do a list on the same day as Ross? I would have looked a complete [insert insult] when everyone read my article five minutes after Ross' and I had the same No. 1.
This match is brilliant and the one that started the Attitude era and made Stone Cold the biggest thing since Hogan.
2. HBK v Razor Ramoan (10) - The best IC title match of all time and the greatest ladder match ever.
3. HBK v Bret Hart (12) - Somehow they managed to make a 60 minute match enjoyable for the entire main event, most guys can't make a 10 minute match enjoyable at 10 minutes in length (I'm looking at you Batista), the emotion at the end looked actually real when HBK won in sudden death.
WORST WRESTLEMANIA MATCHES (the match has to be over one minute long)
1. Brock Lesnar v Goldberg (20) - You'll probably disagree with this choice but this is too me the most boring match I've ever seen. It lasted forever and was the cause of the longest boring chant of all time.
Somehow Goldberg (who probably got the biggest pop in the entire WWE at the time) got jeered out of the arena. The only shining light was Stone Cold when he stunnered them both to remind us that Austin was still alive.
2. Undertaker v Giant Gonzalez - The worst of Taker's 387 'Mania wins and ended in DQ. Nuff said.
3. Kane v The Great Khali - Wrestlemania 23 was the most poorly booked 'Mania for a while with every match besides Taker v Batista and Lashley v Umaga having the wrong outcome, so this match didn't look out of place.
Khali shouldn't be allowed within 100 feet of a Wrestlemania never mind being actually in a match. One of many matches that proved the formula - Khali + Anybody + Ring = S**t match.
[note: I refuse to acknowledge that Lawrence Taylor v Bam Bam Bigalow ever happened and besides this sentence I shall never speak of him again.]
GREATEST WRESTLEMANIA MOMENTS
1. Shawn Michaels wins his first title (12) - You'd actually think it was real.
2. Shawn Michaels retires Flair (24) - Hopefully Flair can park his old arse in his chair and stay out of the ring from now on rather than ruining his legacy.
3. Stone Cold in the sharpshooter (13) - I hate Bret Hart but the guy can wrestle and this was a great ending to a great match.
WORST WRESTLEMANIA MOMENT
1. The threre-hour long moment that was Wrestlemania 9.
FUNNIEST WRESTELMANIA MOMENT
1. See comments for 'worst wrestlemania moment'. The whole thing was a joke so it's safe to say that it deserves this award.
GREATEST WRESTLEMANIA SUPERSTAR
1. Hulk Hogan - Even though he ruined Mania 9 all the other's make up for it. There might not have been a WM if it hadn't have been for Hogan at WM 1. Wrestlemania 18 was rubbish except for Hogan v The Rock which was a classic and at wrestlemania 3 we had Hogan v Andre which is probably the biggest moment in WWE history.
2. Shawn Michaels - 'Mr.Wrestlemania' is the greatest of all time in my book but he narrowly missed out on the top spot. Tha's simply because he hasn't won enough titles at Mania but that's down to WWE's booking not him.
If you look back at recent memory one of the top-two matches (and usually No. 1) will contain HBK in some shape or form.
3. The Undertaker - The man with the streak, there's often talk that they'll end it at his last mania but that would just be stupid and ruin something that's gone on for 16 years now. He'd probably top most people's lists because of the run but for me most of his matches have been to predictable and up until he faced Edge you never thought there was even a slight chance he might lose.
GREATEST SUPERSTAR TO NEVER HAVE HEADLINED WRESTLEMANIA
Rob Van Dam - I would put Sting at the top but because he has never actually been with the WWE I've not included him in my choices. RVD is probably the most fun guy to watch when he was in the WWE.
Due to his wife's cancer, he's taking time off but his appearance at the Rumble still shows us that he's still interested in wrestling. My hope for Mania 26 is that ECW disbands and that the final extreme rules match is RVD v Mick Foley.
WWE Title - Triple H def. Randy Orton
WHC Title - John Cena def. Edge
Triple Threat - Undertaker def. HBK, JBL (WWE won't let us have a 1 v 1 match because they can't think of anything to do with JBL)
Hulk Hogan def. Chris Jericho or Chris Jericho def. Mickey Rourke w/Ric Flair
Handicap - Stone Cold def. Priceless (if Y2J faces Mickey Rourke then Hogan will partner Stone Cold)
Women's Title - Melina def. Beth Phoenix (expect Trish or Lita to make an appearance possible as special ref)
MITB Ladder Match - Christian wins
Legends Battle Royal - ?, hopefully miserable Bret Hart will get off his lazy ass and give back something to the fans that gave him everything.
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