Surfing around on the Internet can show you many things. Some are informative, some are worthless, and some are definitely not safe for work.
While scrolling through some articles on www.sportstimeohio.com, a blog associated with the television home of the Cleveland Indians, I came across an article that gave me not only inspiration for a blog entry, but some belly laughs as well.
The article was written by Indians beat writer Paul Cousineau, a very intelligent and thorough journalist, about which popular songs he believes should be adopted by the 2009 Cleveland Indians' ballplayers as their batters' and pitchers' ditties for the upcoming season.
That got me thinking about the 2009 Colorado Rockies and which songs would work with which players. Each ballplayer has their own choice of song that comes over the stadium loudspeakers whenever they come to the plate or come into pitch.
Here are a few choices that I think the Rockies should seriously consider making their own personal ditties.
"The Last Waltz" by the Band
Though Helton professes to be healthy thus far this spring, chronic back injuries are incredibly difficult to come back from, especially to the form Helton displayed early on in his career when he was a flirting with .400 on a yearly basis.
This beautifully intricate waltz by one of the most underrated bands of all time, The Band, closed out their Martin Scorcese-directed 1978 documentary of the same name. The Band didn't have a closing statement. They let their music have the last word as the lights slowly faded out in the Winterland Ballroom.
We can only hope Helton has a few more waltzes left in his lumber.
One only needs the opening snarl of Ladies Love Cool James to pump up even the most apathetic of fans.
"Don't call it a comeback. I've been here for years. Rockin' my peers, and puttin' suckas in fear."
If the Rockies are going to have any chance at recapturing Rocktober, they're going to need Tulo to return to his 2007 form where he enjoyed the greatest season ever by a National League rookie shortstop.
Swamped by offseason rumors that he would be wearing a different uniform come 2009, Atkins has to feel a bit miffed that his name was thrown around so freely during the Hot Stove talks.
Atkins is still a Rockie, however, and what better way to show your organization how you really feel than with a teenage, girl-group r'n'b ballad?
Hawpe has been nothing but consistent in his three years as a starter (.289 average, 25 home runs, 95 rbis in a normal season) and with Matt Holliday taking his All-Star bat to Oakland, Hawpe will be counted on to shoulder more of the offensive load.
Whitney Houston's duet with Cece Winans about accountability in turbulent times is the perfect anthem for Hawpe's role in 2009. And it'll put a stop to that gawd-awful Nickelback song he's been using for the last two seasons.
Iannetta entered last season as the backup to Yorvit Torrealba and emerged on the fringe of the league's upper echelon of offensive backstops (18 homers, 65 RBI, .390 on-base percentage in 104 games). As the starter this season, he's looking to keep that positive momentum going.
No word yet if he's named his bat, Mr. Farenheit.
Spilly doesn't need my help. He's a batter's ditty-connoisseur.
This German pop smash single would be the perfect song for everybody's favorite red-headed right-hander. Perhaps the 99 red balloons will stand for each one of Cookie's strikeouts this year (plus one to make it an even 100).
Though Francis' shoulder is going to keep him out for the season with his decision to undergo surgery, this mellow, optimistic number from the legendary folk singer-songwriter should keep his thoughts positive while he rehabs for 2010.
What better band to represent the pitcher who had the highest average fastball (94.9 mph) in baseball last year than a band called, well, Fastball?
Anyone can see the road Jimenez walks on is paved in gold as he looks to build upon his solid first full season in the big leagues (12-12, 3.99 ERA, 172 strikeouts).
This poppy song by these Canadian synth-rockers can get some pep in Hirsh's step before he takes the hill.
Once a top prospect, Hirsh has never taken advantage of his chances in the big leagues and at 27, he may be running out of opportunities.
Corpas, who was admittedly out of shape and lacking focus in 2008, has reportedly shown up to camp fit and prepared to win his closer's job back. He'll have to battle Huston Street, but it seems as if he's taken a long look in the mirror and is ready to go out and make a change.
Street, an acquisition brought to the Mile High City in the Holliday deal, won't know many of his new teammates before he reports to Tucson, but he'll soon be just one of the guys once he starts throwing zeroes on the scoreboard.
This pumped-up anthem should prepare Stewart to excel in 2009, no matter what position he's playing, be it third base or left field.
"If you are what you say you are, a superstar, then have no fear, the crowd is here."
Gonzalez has been named the top prospect in two separate organizations (the Diamondbacks and Athletics) and has come to Colorado looking to replace Holliday. Eventually, he'll have to stop living off his potential and start leading with his production.
If you guys have your own picks, be sure to leave them in the comments. I'm going to start making a playlist.