First of all, I don't care if you love me.
Last, and least, I don't care if you hate me.
If you don't come real with it about Yankees' baseball, I'm gonna knock you out. If you do come real with it, you'll get a dead-arm.
I live in New York City where the economic crisis has no bearing on the New York Yankees, and it has no bearing on my business, which is making a ton of money, watching the Yankees, and getting chased by the ladies.
If I lived in your po-dunk town, I could retire at age 24 but instead, I'm in Manhattan and my last car was more expensive than your dream house.
My mom is hotter than yours, and my dad can fit his pinky ring around your scrawny little neck.
I use steroids all day long and I don't care if everybody knows it. EVERYBODY takes the juice, so leave these guys alone. Ya gotta be the best, there's nothing wrong with that.
When we're not winning Championships, we're chasing you little girls around and making you run away from us. Your second rate teams might win a couple titles but you'll fall off like everybody else. New York is always in it. Even Boston knows if you don't beat NY it's not the same. To them, beating us is more important than winning the Series. Think about it.
Your local teams are LUCKY when we come to town, because the Yankees support your economy and get you talking about sports when your not in Calc II trying to be as smart as me and my boys.
Face it. You love us or you hate us because we are the most relevant team in sports, across the world. We are peerless and every year, we're the favorites to win it all.
If you agree, or disagree,
I DON'T CARE.
Like the new article format? Send us feedback!