The Bluths Explain Football: The Jacksonville Jaguars Prepare for Training Camp

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The Bluths Explain Football: The Jacksonville Jaguars Prepare for Training Camp
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Give a hearty "onyong" to the best player on the Jags.

Welcome back to the Bluths Explain Football, an ongoing series in which the cast of Arrested Development gives you insight into the AFC South. This will likely be the final edition of "Bluths" until after the regular season.

Today's episode is "Missing Kitty." Let's see what it can teach us about the Jacksonville Jaguars' upcoming training camp.

 

Plot Summary

Fed up with Kitty the secretary's terrible job performance, Michael fires her. George Michael becomes enamored with his uncle's bravado and magic career. Tobias unwittingly knocks off a prison boss named White Power Bill.

George Sr. tell Michael that firing Kitty is a mistake. Gob plots to blow up the family yacht, and unwittingly blows up Kitty in process.

 

Quotes

"Nothing gets me more excited."

"I can see that. You might want to button that shirt"

-Gob and Michael

The most exciting part of Jaguars camp will be seeing Laurent Robinson and Justin Blackmon in action. It's been a long time since the Jaguars had receivers worth getting excited about.

Both of these players are going to bring the ability to make big plays on the field, and together they can make the Jaguars downright dynamic.

If you are looking for optimism in Jacksonville, they are the place to start.

 

It's a path to a lonely life where people mock you, and you don't realize it.

-Michael

No punter in football is under greater pressure than Bryan Anger. Of course, pressure for a punter is a relative term.

Still, the selection of Anger was highly criticized by pundits and fans alike. Anger can't merely be solid, or even good to justify the use of a third-round pick. He has to be one of the top two or three punters in football.

Everyone loves to make fun of the punters and kickers in a normal training camp, but this year everyone will be closely monitoring Anger.

 

Take a good look Michael, coz it's the last time you're gonna see these!

-Kitty

Nothing hurts the Jaguars' image as much as the tarps that block off extra seats at EverBank field, and the team knows it.

They are determined to get rid of the tarps one way or another.

It's a good thing, because the Jaguars fans have been too supportive of the team for them to keep getting the bad press the tarps generate. The perception that the Jaguars are under-supported is completely incorrect, but is reinforced every time the tarps are shown.

It creates fans with low self-esteem, and that has got to stop.

 

Isn't he great? And he goes with everything!

-Lucille

Linebacker Daryl Smith has been very good for a very long time, and he's probably the most underrated player on the Jaguars' roster.

He's been a force at linebacker for years, and according to ProFootball Focus was the best player on the Jaguars' roster last year.

The Jags have some questions at linebacker, especially given the health issues surrounding Clint Session.

It's going to be on Smith to hold the unit together.

 

Let's just sit quietly and think about how ridiculous that statement was.

-Maeby

Of course, the biggest camp issue to watch will be Maurice Jones-Drew's potential holdout.

While I don't blame him for doing everything in his power to get paid, the idea that the Jaguars should cave to his demands is completely ridiculous.

No running back, even MJD, is irreplaceable in a modern NFL offense. Jones-Drew is going to have to come to grips with the fact that he's not getting a new deal.

The only question is how long it takes him to figure it out.

 

Somewhere over the rainbow, there's another rainbow.

-Tobias

It's time for Jaguars fans to get their pot of gold. This team has been building for four years now, and if all they get is another rainbow at the end of this one it won't be fair.

Training camp can be deceiving, but I suspect we'll get an idea by the end of the preseason if there's something glittering waiting for the Jags

 

Analysis

Gene Smith has been promising a magic trick for a long time, and the day is finally come for the big reveal. They've been following a yellow-brick road for a while now, and everyone is ready for a winner.

Some people may call Jags fans crazy for dreaming of a title, but if there's one thing Arrested Development has taught us, it's that you never fire crazy.

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