Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19)
You've finally reached the end of a long journey. You'll sure be missed by "many" although "many" does not include me. Based on my crystal ball you won't have any success in boxing because, as you said, boxing is a dying sport. Don't worry you'll have better opportunities in Feng Shui.
Notable Aries: Joe Calzaghe
Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20)
What comes around goes around. The people who laughed at you because you can't make weight are now the people who can't make weight. You? I'm sure you had a pretty good laugh.
Notable Taurus: Joan Guzman
Gemini (May 21 - Jun 21)
You've been in your position for more than three decades now. We need change!
Notable Gemini: His excellency, Jose Sulaiman
Cancer (Jun 22 - Jul 22)
They say life begins at 40, but you've started your decline at 37. You have been longing for redemption, but I don't foresee it happening in the near future. The good news is, you are shining...especially your sweat covered head.
Notable Cancer: Joel Casamayor
Leo (Jul 23 - Aug 22)
You are old, just like Mr. Cancer, but you're mindset is as vigorous as a young man. Still, beware, don't travel in Puerto Rico and don't go near Puerto Ricans.
Notable Leo: Gerry Penalosa
Virgo (Aug 23 - Sep 22)
You are sweet. You prove all the doubters wrong. Bravo, excellent!
Notable Virgo: Shane Mosley
Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22)
You have what it takes to crown yourself as the best in the world. My crystal ball says that you are in a noisy, busy place right now perhaps a bar or a pub. I hear a voice...he's saying something in a authoritative manner...he says, "How about another bottle of beer sir?"
Notable Libra: Ricky Hatton
Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21)
Too much rest isn't good for your health. I only saw you in the idiot box twice this year. First was at your wedding with the hot and oozing Rachel Marcial. Second was with the not-so-hot Moruti Mthalane.
Notable Scorpio: Nonito Donaire
Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21)
I'm a certified couch potato, but I won't watch your new television show. The good thing is, you have all the opportunities to cement your legacy as one of the best of all time—still don't go near politics.
Notable Sagittarius (except me): Manny Pacquiao
Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19)
You are very successful in your endeavours right now. You reap what you sow, still the nightmare of the past haunts you. It's an asterisk in your resume. You must not run Mr. Scorpio!
Notable Capricorn: Vic Darchinyan
Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)
You must not intervene in the clash of Mr. Scorpio and Mr. Capricorn...period!
Notable Aquarius: Gary Shaw
Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20)
You'll have a long vacation, trust me. You should not cheat; furthermore, you should not put plaster of paris, hand grenades, or horse shoes in your boxing gloves.
Notable Pisces: Antonio Margarito