Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to my weekly SmackDown recap list. I always appreciate my loyal readers, but for those of you who are new, each week I recap SmackDown with a long list.
The entries are made up of equal parts observations, humor, recap, play by play, revelations, speculations, questions, answers and anything else I notice during the show. I sometimes comment on commercials, too, just because I get bored during them.
Remember how I was saying I had something special in store for you guys? Well, I have finally worked out all the details. Please read the section at the end of the list for details on what I have in store.
Please refrain from jumping for joy after you read the details as ceiling fans can hurt.
I try and interject some fun into these lists, so I hope you have fun reading this week's list of the 133 things we learned, loved and hated from the show.
1. Josh Matthews enthusiastically welcomes us to SmackDown.
2. Sweet! Dolph Ziggler is facing Sheamus again. They impressed me at No Way Out.
3. Teddy Long comes out, bouncing like a mad man on the stage.
4. He reminds us all that John Laurinaitis has been fired and tonight we have Mick Foley as the special guest GM.
5. Big Show's music interrupts and he walks past the former GM on his way to the ring.
6. Ha! The sign saying "Big Show is the K-Mart of wrestlers" made me laugh. Kudos to that fan.
7. Am I seeing some gray in Show's beard?
8. Show says he doesn't care about JL being fired or the fans' opinions of him.
9. He actually says congratulations to John Cena for beating him.
10. Oh wait, he was being sarcastic.
11. What Big Show says about being able to beat John Cena in a one-on-one fight is stupid because Cena has beaten him several times over their careers.
12. I do, however, like that Show is no longer the smiling giant and is starting to be a dominant monster again.
13. Show announces he is going to be in the Money in the Bank match for the WWE title shot.
14. Brodus Clay's music hits and he is out, but he is not smiling and dancing this time.
15. Show cuts Clay off as he tries to get in the ring, but Clay turns it around and hits a big headbutt to Show.
16. As Clay pounds on Show in the corner, we see David Otunga attack him from behind with a chop-block to Clay's knee.
17. Good lord! Otunga is oiled up so much that I am shocked he didn't slide in one side of the ring and out the other.
18. A "you can't wrestle" chant breaks out as Show punishes Clay's injured knee.
19. Show grabs Clay by the mohawk and gives him the WMD, knocking Clay out.
20. Otunga taunts an injured Clay with mama jokes.
21. What the Hell!? Otunga calls for Clay's music and he starts doing the Carlton dance.
22. I am torn. On one hand, I love a good Fresh Prince reference, but on the other hand, I think this was a waste of both Clay and Otunga's time.
23. These two jobbers in the ring look like Tintin and Jay Lethal Lite.
24. Oh crap. This means Ryback is out next.
25. Wow! I can actually see people cheering for Ryback. I guess he is building a small following.
26. I won't care until he faces someone with some real credibility.
27. Booker corrects Matthews on what Ryback was saying in his match when he said "Feed me three!"
28. Oh! One of these guys looks like he hit his head on the mat pretty hard when Ryback gave him a spinebuster.
29. Yoshi Tatsu is backstage with Foley, who is explaining what domo arigato means to the Japanese superstars for some reason.
30. Vickie walks up and Tatsu calls her and ugly, old witch.
31. Well, that was classy. What did Vickie do to Tatsu?
32. Vickie says she is going to be the GM next week, and Foley recommends Khali to be her assistant. That was a total waste of time.
33. Am I the only one who noticed that during the commercial for SummerSlam, the guy who always does voice-over work for WWE was pretending to have a Spanish accent?
34. Is that offensive to anyone, or do people no longer care about accents being faked?
35. A clip of Daniel Bryan remembering Marty Jannetty beating Shawn Michaels for the IC title on Raw is shown.
36. Alberto Del Rio is out after the break.
37. If someone could give me a full translation of what Ricardo Rodriguez says in his introduction, I would greatly appreciate it.
38. Christian is out next to face Del Rio in a non-title match.
39. Del Rio pushes Christian into the corner to start things off, and then he goes to work with some strikes.
40. Christian sends Del Rio over the top rope and then leaps off the top all the way to the floor onto Del Rio.
41. Michael Cole says Del Rio came up with the Cross-Arm breaker. I call bull. It's a standard armbar and it has existed for longer than Del Rio has been alive.
42. When we return from a break, we see Del Rio focusing on Christian's left arm.
43. I will give Cole props for mentioning both Dos Caras and Mil Mascaras as being relatives of Del Rio.
44. Christian gets back control, but loses it just as quickly when he misses a cross body.
45. Christian ducks an enziguri and hits a big swinging DDT in the corner for a near fall.
46. Del Rio hits what is essentially a Codebreaker on Christian's arm, but Christian hits a middle-rope dropkick for another near fall right after.
47. Christian sets up for a spear but gets a superkick to the chin.
48. Both men counter each other a few times before Del Rio hits the enziguri on Christian while he is on the top rope.
49. Del Rio gets the CAB locked in and gets the win by submission.
50. I wonder if this will lead to a feud. These two could do great things at a PPV.
51. Cody Rhodes comes in to pick the bones, and he puts Christian in a different version of the armbar.
52. I love how Rhodes looks so angry during this attack. He has really grown over the past year into a well-rounded superstar.
53. A really well-made video of the feud involving AJ, Daniel Bryan, Kane and CM Punk is shown.
54. Someone in Hollywood would be smart to snatch up whoever WWE has working on their video packages. Great editing.
55. Kane is out for his match with Daniel Bryan.
56. AJ is out to be the special guest timekeeper for this match.
57. When was the last time a WWE match went to a time-limit draw? Do they even need a timekeeper anymore? I guess she is just there to ring the bell.
58. Bryan is out next to face the man who abandoned him on Monday during their tag match.
59. Here is a fun fact; Daniel Bryan has been nominated for Sexiest Vegetarian Celebrity on PETA's website. You can vote for him here.
60. Kane starts off by using his power to dominate Bryan until Bryan low-bridges Kane over the top rope.
61. Bryan hits a running dropkick in the corner for a near fall and starts working Kane over with powerful kicks.
62. I can't help but agree with Matthews when he says that AJ having a hammer in her hand is not a good idea.
63. Kane comes back and reverses a Yes Lock attempt into a sidewalk slam for another near fall.
64. Kane is caught by a dropkick when he leaps off the top rope, and Bryan starts revving up as he does his signature series of kicks to Kane's chest.
65. Kane catches one and pushes Bryan down, but he can't follow up.
66. Bryan slips coming off the top rope and Kane capitalizes.
67. I am not sure if that was an accident or intentional because the camera angle was terrible.
68. Bryan is able to hit the missile dropkick from the top rope for another near fall.
69. This is a good match so far. Good pace, and it is making Bryan look like he can hang with anyone one on one.
70. Bryan gets Kane on his knees and he tees off with a huge roundhouse kick to Kane's head.
71. Bryan goes for the flying headbutt and Kane catches him and tries for a chokeslam, but Bryan locks in a submission move, the name of which escapes me.
72. Kane tries to throw Bryan off, but Bryan turns it into a sunset flip and eventually locks in the Yes Lock on Kane.
73. Kane is crawling towards the rope when AJ rings the bell, making Bryan let go and think he won.
74. Kane takes advantage and hits the Chokeslam for the pin.
75. At some point Kane got busted open. You can see blood trickling from under his mask, as we see AJ skip away from the ring.
76. It looks like AJ is out more to screw over Bryan than to get with Kane or Punk.
77. Foley is out after the break and he thanks JL for being so lame that he got fired.
78. Heath Slater's music hits and Cole is the only one excited to see him.
79. I guess Slater's new gimmick is interrupting people and then jobbing to someone.
80. Slater talks about how he was embarrassed by Roddy Piper and Cyndi Lauper on Monday.
81. Haha! Foley says Lauper is a serious competitor and Slater should not feel bad.
82. Whoa! Ryder comes out to face Slater. I missed Ryder.
83. Ryder gets a head of steam right away and starts putting Slater through a series of signature moves.
84. Slater is able to get the advantage and he hits a neckbreaker for a near fall.
85. Ryder hits the Rough Ryder practically out of nowhere for the win.
86. Even though it was quick, I am glad Ryder is getting some time on camera again. He was essentially taken off TV for no reason and the fans clearly liked having him back.
87. Foley is backstage with Ryder celebrating the win when they run into none other than the intellectual savior of the masses.
88. Damien Sandow seems put off by Foley's attitude, and he tells off Foley and Ryder before leaving.
89. Oh man, I hope this leads to Sandow feuding with Ryder. Their contrast would actually make for an interesting combination.
90. YES!!! The Usos are out next. They are not given enough time on TV. These guys have the skill, lineage and desire to be WWE;s best tag team, which I realize isn't saying much with how WWE treats tag teams.
91. AW is out on the ramp to bring out The Prime Time Players—Titus O'Neil and Darren Young.
92. Jey Uso starts off against the human microphone Darren Young.
93. The Usos start off string with a few double-team moves to take control of the match early on.
94. Why is AW wearing a headset? Who are we supposed to believe is on the other end?
95. O'Neil tags in and takes control of Jimmy Uso.
96. Every week I try and think who Titus O'Neil reminds me of and now I got it. He reminds me of President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho.
97. You have to have seen Idiocracy to get that one.
98. Jey Uso comes in to even the odds after Darren Young jumps in the ring. Jimmy sets up for the Superfly Splash, but he gets crotched on the top rope by Young and O'Neil pulls him off for a big Spinebuster for the win.
99. The Prime Time Players and AW celebrate in the ring after the match.
100. Short but decent match. Both teams showed that they are looking to make waves in the tag-team division.
101. Awesome. A video plays hyping up the re-release of No Holds Barred starring Hulk Hogan.
102. WWE sure has forgotten their policy of not using TNA stars in video packages over the past few months.
103. Hogan sure did make some bad movies in his day, but this one was so bad that is was awesome. This is a film the Mystery Science Theater 3000 crew would have had a field day with.
104. Santino is out after the break to remind us, yet again, that JL has been fired.
105. Santino is doing "best sign segment," which focuses on some pretty standard signs.
106. The only person in the crowd with a Santino sign, shirt and Cobra sleeve is brought into the ring.
107. She is obviously a plant.
108. After their Cobras kiss, the woman lays one on Santino and he passes out in the middle of the ring.
109. Was her lipstick applied with a crayon? It is all over Santino's face.
110. Sheamus and Ziggler are shown walking in split-screen backstage as we head to commercial.
111. WWE shows an ad for Raw asking who will be running the show a full hour after Vickie already said it would be her.
112. A recap of Punk on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon is shown.
113. I do not get why anyone thinks what he said about Tim Tebow was bad. People have been acting like it will lead to an angle and all he did was make a quick joke.
114. I am about to channel my hair-dressing cousin for a second. Ziggler needs to touch up those roots.
115. Sheamus is out next and he is sans shirt. Surprising, given he just got a new shirt a few weeks ago.
116. Ziggler and Sheamus have a quick exchange before Ziggler does a few leg lifts in the corner.
117. Sheamus takes control, but Ziggler starts fighting back with punches and kicks.
118. Sheamus catches Ziggler on the outside and hits a fallaway slam into the barricade before we head to commercial.
119. We return to see the Show Off in control of the hooligan.
120. Sheamus sends Ziggler over the top rope and as Vickie distracts Sheamus, it gives Ziggler a chance to hit a Fame-Asser after leaping off the steel steps.
121. There is a guy at ringside with a Ric Flair wig and robe on trying to get attention from the camera.
122. Ziggler gets a near fall on Sheamus after a jumping elbow.
123. Ziggler applies the sleeper, but Sheamus is able to shake him off only to be dropkicked while draped over the middle rope.
124. Sheamus comes back and starts hitting axe-handles on Ziggler.
125. Sheamus tries for White Noise, but Ziggler is able to wiggle out and take back control with a leaping DDT.
126. Sheamus loses his balance on the top rope but still fights off Ziggler with a huge right hand followed by a flying shoulder block for another near fall.
127. Ziggler and Sheamus start trading blows until Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick for the pin and the win.
128. Great match. Not as good as their match at No Way Out, but commercials always affect the way a match feels vs. being on a PPV.
129. SmackDown ends with Sheamus celebrating with the crowd.
130. This was an alright show, but it could have used something special to make it great.
131. There were some good matches and segments, which added nicely to the show.
132. Sandow needs to feud with someone and Ryder may just be the right guy. They have such a vast difference in their gimmicks that friction between them seems logical.