They're All Gonna Laugh At You! Oh Wait, We Already Are!

Andrew SouthworthCorrespondent IFebruary 11, 2009

I just wanted to alert everyone to some HUGE BREAKING NEWS I HAVE RECEIVED!

You see, I am part of this wrestling insider Web site that tells me everything I wanna know months in advance, and all I have to do is pay $49.95 a month!

Anyways, I wanna be the first to report that Christian Cage will be making a surprise return this Sunday at No Way Out! That's right you heard it here first!

He is gonna do a run in during the WWE Title Match and cost Edge the title to Jeff Hardy...oh wait, I'm sorry, apparently he just strolled out on ECW last night ruining all of this for me....allow me to just say this then...


To anyone out there who wrote every single day (in some cases it seemed that way) about how they had some kind of huge insider news on the situation, I say HA! Eat crow!

It became pretty clear last night that WWE was sick and tired of all the buzz on the Internet and the fact that every storyline they have been writing has been over analyzed and rewritten on-line with Christian placed into it.

I don't know how many of you know this, but Vince McMahon does not like to be one upped. Not the least little bit.

So I quickly slapped together this piece in order to do two things.


1. To make fun of all the people who had to spend their days speculating and telling us they had it right, when in fact, you were merely relaying some bogus information from a wrestling news Web site that probably gave you 94 spyware intrusions and 247 pop up ads for you to close before you even got this said bogus news.


2. To tell you to give it time before we start flooding B/R with stupid articles about how Christian is a waste in WWE. I can assure you, they did not sway him from TNA to work for ECW for the rest of his career. Give it time. You cannot base his return or anything else on one single night.

Rest assured it was done that way just so McMahon's ego can be inflated again in knowing he pulled one over on all of the smart marks out here on the Internet. Even if they decide to keep him in ECW for a while, it is still the best WRESTLING that WWE puts on TV. I'd pay any night to watch Swagger and Cage wrestle.


You've all been had.