Dear John Letter: My Break-Up With ESPN

Grant Correspondent IFebruary 10, 2009


Dear ESPN,

I've been debating about this for a while, but today I can say with absolute certainty that it is time for us to break up.

We've had some good times together, memories I will always cherish, and you are a great network many would be lucky to have.

However, Tuesday morning was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.

As you know, when I wake up I eat my oatmeal, and watch your SportsCenter. I suffer through the endless amount of commercial breaks. I deal with your indifference towards hockey. But I cannot endure over thirty minutes of coverage devoted to Alex Rodriguez and his recent admission of steroid use.

Seriously? Over thirty minutes?

SportsCenter is only an hour long program.

I am originally from Illinois. When I first heard of now ex-governor Rod Blagojevich trying to sell a vacant United States Senate seat, I was not surprised. That's business as usual in the Land of Lincoln.

Along the same lines, I'm not shocked by the news that a baseball player used performance enhancing drugs. For the past ten years it has been the norm. Why don't you do a story on the small number of players that did not juice up their stats?

Or better yet, how about a scathing report on the commissioner who allowed rampant steroid use to occur during his watch? That would be newsworthy.

Whatever respect I had left for you and our relationship is now gone.

Furthermore, over the past couple of years you have spread yourself too thin. I've never had a cable or satellite provider that carried ESPNU. How many quality games have I missed for this reason? Soon I fear the ESPN8, "The Ocho," joke in the movie Dodgeball will become a reality.

Please, don't cry. I'm sorry to end this so close to Valentine's Day. I still want to remain friends, but I feel we have grown too far apart to be together any longer.





P.S.  It is definitely you that is the problem, not me.