There isn't a single football coach in the NCAA as cool as West Virginia's Red Bull-slugging head honcho, Dana Holgorsen, and I'll tell you why.
Alright, so he has a goofy haircut.
When you really think about it though, his slicked back mullet-fade is actually about as sweet as can be, considering he apparently left his hair line back at Iowa Wesleyan College.
But, he didn't fight nature or try to pretend he has a full head of hair, only to end up with some straw-thin comb over. He obviously never even considered a toupee, he's much too cool for that. Most balding coaches hide their disappearing hairline with a hat or visor, but not Holgs.
Instead, he made due with what he had, and threw those locks back as free, proud and glorious as a lion's mane. (Take notes, Rich Rodriguez).
Dana Holgorsen: King of the College Football Jungle, with hair so cool it has its own Facebook page.
Those locks are only the tip of the iceberg that is Holgorsen's swag, though.
Below that mane stands a true swag champion—a man with no fear.
Holgorsen kind of reminds me of another black-clad swagger king, perhaps you know him.
So, Holgorsen isn't quite as brash and outspoken as Kenny Powers, but tell me this isn't something the HBO star would do:
Almost exactly one year ago, just days after being named the head coach at WVU, Holgorsen celebrated by going skydiving over the New River Gorge in southern West Virginia.
Now, how many other head coaches celebrated their hiring by jumping out of an airplane?
I'm guessing the number is somewhere in the ballpark of zero.
Jumping out of a plane isn't the only hardcore activity Holgorsen has been known to partake in, either.
The most recent tweet on his official Twitter account is a picture of him and the new WVU Mountaineer mascot at a golf outing, but Holgs isn't holding a nine-iron.
Nope, West Virginia's offensive guru is firing off the Mountaineer's custom musket and apparently loving every second of it.
That isn't the only time Holgorsen has been hanging out with the Mountaineer lately either, as can be inferred from the fist-bump the duo shared after he fired the musket.
Last month, the two went to Los Angeles to film commercial for College GameDay with the entire crew, as is well documented by the @WVUMascot Twitter account.
But, maybe guns aren't your thing, and maybe you always flip channels during commercials—that's understandable.
Well, check out Holgorsen's previous tweet. If you're a WVU fan (or really anything but a Pitt fan, which is a pretty microscopic portion of the population), I guarantee you'll enjoy it (warning: some adult language).
That succinct but powerful message was from current WVU co-defensive coordinator, and former Pitt interim head coach, Keith Patterson. Patterson joined the staff at West Virginia after being denied the full-time job as the head man for the Panthers, and apparently wasn't too happy about it.
Dana Holgorsen, only 58 tweets deep, and the man already knows how to produce pure Twitter gold.
As great as his official account is, his fake account may be even better. Be warned, the FauxCoachHolgs has a bit of a potty mouth, but it's also one of the most well-run fake Twitter accounts I've seen.
In today's digital world, everybody who's anybody has a Twitter account, and if you're cool enough to have your own fake Twitter account, then you're hipper than a hula hoop in the '50s.
Speaking of hip, if you are trying to hear the latest hip-hop jams, all you have to do is simply walk past WVU's Milan Puskar Stadium during a football practice.
Is there another coach as cool as Dana Holgorsen?
Forget checking the Billboard Top 100, forget listening to Shade 45 on Sirius XM, and especially forget about MTV.
Just jog, bike, or roll your windows down and take a drive past Mountaineer Field and you're sure to hear the speakers bumping rap tunes.
And if you just aren't into rap music, guns, skydiving, Twitter, sweet hair and Red Bull, then try this.
Perhaps you were bored by watching LSU put up a goose egg in the national title game last year, while Alabama found the end zone only once.
Fear not, because Dana Holgorsen is your man, as he knows how to field a team that can light up the scoreboard as often as your heart desires.
If the air raid offense isn't good enough for you, then there is no hope.
Because if you aren't into 4,000-yard passers, multiple 1,000-yard receivers and 70-33 Orange Bowl victories, then you just aren't very cool.
Dana Holgorsen Swag Update:
The day after I wrote this article, WVU linebacker Taige Redman tweeted this:
Coach Holgs just came in on a private helicopter in the stadium parking lot! #boss— Taige Redman (@TRED_50) June 18, 2012
#Boss is exactly right.
Follow Alex Sims on Twitter for CFB and WVU insight and more: Follow @apsims