IPL Bonanza: Five Unbelivable Things That Will Happen This Time! A MUST Read!

Rocky GettersSenior Writer IFebruary 10, 2009

Did the IPL leave you amazed, enchanted, excited, just absolutely on the egde of a sports orgasm and craving for more? Then did you think that that was it, it couldn't get any better? Well, did you?

You have no idea whats coming your way then!

Already English stars Kevin Pietersen (KP) and Andrew "Freddie" Flintoff have been "purchased" for a record-setting US$ 1.55 million! Already another Bollywood celebrity Shilpa Shetty has bought stakes in an IPL team!

And already its been rumored that the world wide audience for IPL and the associated TV rights could double that of last season's!

Considering this, IPL this season is going to get even more wild, more stunning and absolutely unpredictable!

But never fear, this b/r reporter is here! Here is a semi-serious look at some unusual things that "might just happen" in this season's IPL!


1. Mr. Vijay Mallya fires everybody! 

How many losses can a sane businessman like Mr. Mallya keep on suffering without taking a potent action? His airline venture is in loss due to recession, his F1 team didn't achieve any sort of success, and his IPL team—Bangalore Royal Challengers, have as much chance of winning as that of me spotting a leprechaun!

So...picture this: The Bangalore Royal Challengers once again enjoy a losing streak, perform badly and lie at the end of the table halfway through the IPL season. Mr. Vijay Mallya absolutely loses it after the next match they lose...right in the stadium itself!

He runs on to the ground, tears his hair out, stomps middle of the pitch with his $1,000 boots, breaks the stumps into tiny-tiny pieces, removes the hat of one of the umpires and throws it away and chases the other umpire out of the stadium...

And then, he looks at his captain. And he says in a Vince McMahon voice, "YOU'RE FIRED!!!!" Then from there to his luxury hotel suite, he fires whoever he sees, who is associated with the Bangalore Royal Challengers! All the players, staff, physio, cheerleaders, water-boys, ball-boys, pool-boys, drivers, chefs, everybody!

This is the one IPL team boss, you do NOT want to cross this season!

Hey it "might happen", oy!


2. Sreesanth slaps Harbhajan Singh! 

Last season, we know the opposite happen. But since then, so much has changed. Harbhajan Singh has taken over as India's lead spinner, while Sreesanth has...well...he has finished runner-up in a reality TV show which nobody watched.

So...picture this: Mumbai Indians take on Mohali. Its a close game, Mumbai need 20 runs to win of the last 10 balls, but they have lost eight wickets. And Harbhajan Singh is on strike. Shreesanth bowls a beamer and it hits Bhajji right on the head!

Confrontation takes place, curse words are exchanged, (not sure whether someone said "monkey" or "Menu key?") but yes, tension rises! Sachin Tendulkar tries to calm them down, tells them to shake hands and give a high-five.

Sreesanth tries to give a high-five, but ends up slapping Harbhajan Singh! And then all hell breaks loose! There is a fist fight! And the two end up with their front teeth broken.

Don't worry though, the two patch up miraculously and tell the media a day later that they are like "brothers".

Hey it "might happen", oy!


3. Shah Rukh Khan comes out to bat himself!

We know the man is a great sport, a fighter and loves cricket. And we also know his team—Kolkata Knight Riders aren't exactly the favorites to win.

So...picture this: The Kolkata Knight Riders are on a losing streak. Every batsman is failing, underperforming and getting out cheaply. They have no batsman left who can save them.

Shah Rukh Khan gives them amazing inspirational speeches before and after every match. But nothing works, damn it!! They still perform poorly.

Shah Rukh Khan is starting to get really annoyed, he is starting to lose money and losing fan base. His Kolkata Knight Riders are a target of mockery for the entire media. And secretly, Aamir Khan, his rival movie star in Bollywood is laughing heartily.

So, finally, the King Khan dons the golden helmet himself, adorns himself in the black shadows of the Knight Riders uniform, picks up Sourav Ganguly's bat, and goes out to bat in the next match. He scores a century, shows the guys in the locker room how it's done and Kolkata Knight Riders make a stunning comeback and win the IPL!

Hey it "might happen", oy!


4. Dhoni becomes an advertising magnet! :

MS Dhoni may have lost his tag as the "costliest guy in cricket", but he is still the most famous sports celebrity in India, and the ad industry loves him.

So...picture this: Chennai Super Kings are playing their first match, but they are in trouble. They need 6 runs to win of the last ball, half the side is back in the pavilion, and all eyes are now on Dhoni.

But when Dhoni walks onto the pitch, everyone is stunned. He is a walking advertisement board! Not only does he have the sponsors logos all over his shirt, his helmet and his pads, he also has a tattoo on both of his arms advertising a mall and a beverage separately.

Before taking guard, he looks at the stump camera, smiles and advertises a toothpaste! Then he does some routine stretches but in sign language spells out a credit card!

Finally when cricket begins, he hits a six on the first ball. But right after that, he takes off his helmet, and lo! He has a "Ghajini" haircut, advertising a Bollywood movie!!

Hey it "might happen", oy!


5. IPL cheerleaders galore!

The Indian government might make the restrictions on the IPL cheerleaders stricter this season, so forget about seeing bikini-clad blonde models dancing around in naughty flirtations. *sigh*

But since so many Indian cricketers have appeared in some movie or dancing show or on TV, and so many of the Bollywood stars are either owners or brand ambassadors, and so many more are going to promote themselves fighting for TV time, it wouldn't be a surprise, if after the game everyone joins in for a dance!

Maybe Bollywood stars and IPL team owners Juhi Chawla, Preita Zinta and Shilpa Shetty, all will turn cheerleaders for their respective teams. Maybe perform a Bollywood-style number. Maybe the IPL stars will join them!

So, the traditional concept of "cheerleaders" will be modified this season. Much to this reporter's dismay, I prefer blonde models, but that's just me then.....

Hey it "might happen", oy!


Phew! You know it takes a lot of effort to make such "accurate" and yet audacious predictions. So while you're at it, be sure to give me a five-star rating and give my article an "Article of the day/favorite article" thing. That "might" just put me on the b/r front page!

Hey it "might happen", oy!