World Football Gossip Roundup & Funny: Giroud, Hulk, Lucas, Silva, Neymar, Javi

Peter Webster@@petercwebsterContributor IIIMay 25, 2012

World Football Gossip Roundup & Funny: Giroud, Hulk, Lucas, Silva, Neymar, Javi

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    What could be better than a world football gossip roundup combined with a comedy video or two?

    Exactly!

    This article features summer transfer rumours that have been hand picked as the most interesting in the media to date. It's a veritable feast of tasty transfer morsels with a cheese-board of humour to wash it down.

    Enjoy.

Javi Martinez

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    Tired of hearing about Eden Hazard yet? So are Manchester City according to the Mail online.

    The Premier League champions are apparently averting their attention to Javi Martinez of Athletic Bilbao after deciding that a bidding war against Chelsea was something they didn't want to get into.

    Martinez is valued at approximately £24 million due to a release clause in his contract.

Lucas Moura

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    Apparently Chelsea have made a whopping bid for Sao Paulo midfielder Lucas Moura...which has been rejected.

    The bid—reported to be in the region of £32.4 million—wasn't enough to tempt the club into selling the 19-year-old Brazilian international, although the club has stopped short of naming a price they would accept.

    Lucas was also believed to be subject of a bid from Juventus.

Olivier Giroud

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    Manchester United have become front runners to sign Montpellier striker Olivier Giroud—if you believe what you read on CaughtOffside.com.

    Montpellier are thought to be asking £20 million for the player, a figure which Manchester United are seemingly happy to pay.

Thiago Silva

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    Selling Carlos Tevez or Mario Balotelli in order to sign Thiago Silva hardly seems to be a worthwhile pursuit—and that's basically the same response that Roberto Mancini has given on the subject.

    Silva—thought to be a City target—is believed to be valued at £40 million by AC Milan, but Mancini has stated that he has NOT made any attempt to sign the player whilst holding a discussion with AC Milan vice-president Adriano Galliani.

    I'm not sure I'm convinced Roberto.

Hulk

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    The Express have shared their thoughts on the goings on at Chelsea following the announcement that Didier Drogba will leave the club.

    FC Porto's Hulk is the man in the frame to replace him—assuming that Chelsea cough up the £38 million valuation fee.

    Chelsea reportedly only want to pay £30 million, but everyone knows that Roman Abramovich can afford it, after all he just saved £32.4 million by not signing Lucas Moura—alledgedly.

Andre Villas-Boas

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    Following the various announcements in the media regarding Liverpool's shortlist of potential new managers, the club has apparently decided Andre Villas-Boas is not the right man for the job.

    Really? You mean his Premier League win record of 47.50% didn't sway it for you John W?

Roberto Martinez

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    Meanwhile, Roberto Martinez is seemingly well in the frame to become the boss at Anfield.

    Wigan owner Dave Whelan has declared that club manager Martinez is currently in Miami speaking to Liverpool representatives.

    Was it pure coincidence that Martinez was cruising off the coast of America when the call came? Hmmm...

Leighton Baines Snubbed by Laurent Blanc

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    In perhaps one of the most amusing reality checks I have heard in years, Laurent Blanc—the French international manager—has declared he has the information he requires on the whole England squad for 2012.

    apart from the reserve left-back, the one who plays for Everton.

    One assumes that the former Manchester United player is referring to Leighton Baines.

    It makes you wonder how much these coaches really know.

Wojciech Szczesny

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    Poland are co-hosting this years Euro 2012 championships (just in case you didn't know 2012 was this year).

    Whilst the squad is missing a really creative attacking midfielder, it seems Wojciech Szczesny of Arsenal may be able to fill the void.

    Watch here as the goalkeeper does his best impression of Ronaldinho.

The Malaysian Neymar Fails to Live Up to Name

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    I always like to end on a happy note, and on this occasion it involves a terrible bit of skill from a guy dubbed The Malaysian Neymar.

    Malaysian he may be, but Neymar he most certainly is not.

    I particularly enjoy the part where the opposing defender shrugs his shoulders at the end, as if to say "I don't get it."

    There's hope for us all.

     

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