Dear Brett Favre,
Well, I guess it's official, you've retired from the NFL. It's been a great run—maybe the best any quarterback has ever had.
It's too bad you couldn't go out on your own terms. I'm sure it's not a coincidence that the Green Bay Packers website "accidentally" announced your retirement with a mysterious post that was only online for a few minutes, and then a few days later, you actually retired.
You probably wanted to play one more year. Unfortunately, you have to do what the internet says. It's really too bad.
One time the internet told me if I didn't forward this one e-mail to ten of my friends, I would have bad luck. Sure enough, six months later I got a flat tire. It took a while, but in the end, the internet was right.
You're probably upset that the internet is bossing you around. I don't like it when inanimate things tell me what to do either. Kind of like when the microwave tells me I have to take the spoon out of my bowl of oatmeal before I heat it up. Well, it doesn't really say it as much as it displays it with the sparks and everything.
Anyway, back to your problem about the internet forcing you into retirement. Why don't you try to sneak back into the league as a different player? You could be Frett Bavre, the undrafted rookie out of the University of Phoenix. You could act all rookie-like by making ill advised throws, doing crazy shovel passes and carrying around wide receivers on your shoulders after…..never mind.
Good luck sneaking back into the league, Brett. And don't worry about your rookie secret, because it's safe with me.
Sincerely,
R. LeBaron
8 comments Last one added about 1 year ago — Leave a Comment
Sean Crowe about 1 year ago
LOL, great article. I especially loved the part about your microwave telling you what to do. I'm usually told what to do by the TV, and sometimes the radio, but my microwave usually listens to me.
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Joe Rogers about 1 year ago
So much for keeping Brett's secret, jerk!
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Tyler Kleparski about 1 year ago
Your an idiot favre retired cuz he couldnt do it another year mentally he was tired of playing his heart out and never making it to the superbowl in ten years so that would be why he retired
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R. LeBaron about 1 year ago
Geez Tyler, thanks for clearing that up. I really thought the internet bullied Brett Favre into retirement. By the way, the next time you call me an idiot, please say "You're an idiot". If you say "Your an idiot" it doesn't make any sense.
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Megan Fowler about 1 year ago
Well done. Also enjoyed your blog. Keep that up too! (Maybe some hockey players??)
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z.z. about 1 year ago
I checked out the rest of them after I read this - very funny.
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Anonymous about 1 year ago
Really clever and funny; thanks for the laugh. Most of us have a bit of a sense of humor and understand that you probably don't really believe he retired because of what the packer's page said...
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PackSmack about 1 year ago
No, he retired because PackSmack wrote his tribute in December. But, now that I think about it, that was on the internet. Yes, you must be right. (So does this mean that I have to order all the Viagra that the internet tells me to order?!)
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