Large amounts of money can go along way, and you can obtain pretty much anything you desire if there are enough zeroes at the back end of a check. Take this, for example.
The offensive coordinator position at Stanford will now be referred to as the Andrew Luck Director of Offense after being endowed by a “very generous gift” from an anonymous donor. This is not an Onion story, this is real, and it is an honor to celebrate former Cardinal QB Andrew Luck (duh) as he moves on to the NFL. Now, people can do what they please with their money (and the gesture itself is pretty fantastic), although the new name doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue.
The first Andrew Luck Director of Offense is none other than Pep Hamilton, who served as the team’s OC last year and will now happily accept this honor. We can only hope to someday get our hands on his business card.
“It is a tremendous honor to hold this position and to be associated with an outstanding young man like Andrew Luck, who means so much to Stanford football and the Stanford community,” Hamilton said in a statement. “I will do everything in my power to proudly continue the tradition of creative and exciting offensive football at Stanford.”
This, of course, raises the question of what other changes we could make if we a) knew the people capable to make such things happen and b) had money to make those people care. You see the problem in this, although I’m passing along my suggestions regardless assuming a generous donor will do the rest.
Your suggestions are, as always, welcomed.
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