Formula One Racers Against Mad Filipino Jeepney Drivers

John Louie RamosSenior Writer IFebruary 3, 2009

I'm not blessed to own a Ferrari Enzo, that's why whenever I go to school (and that means everyday) I am succumbed to an almost two hour jeepney ride from our house at the peaceful province of Bulacan to the busy city streets of Manila.

Jeepney? You probably wonder what's a jeepney. A jeepney is a U.S. Military vehicle used in World war II, after several revisions it was transformed to a two column, eight seater per column public utility vehicle. The most colourful cultural representation out there.

Now back to our topic. If you ever go here in the Philippines one thing you'll notice is that the prime time news always reports vehicular accidents involving jeepneys. To say the least, the jeepney drivers were like mad dogs viciously going after a bone.

It just pops out of my mind, Can our vicious local jeepney drivers beat the best formula one drivers in the world? I'm thinking of Lewis Hamilton, Steve Kisser, Juan Pablo Montoya, Dario Franchitti, or any professional racer out there willing to accept the challenge.

Well, here's what I got from my day-dreaming..."The King of the Road Tournament"

The Entourage:

Introducing team Philippines mostly composed of the Divisoria (a certain flee market) jeepney drivers riding their Sarao 4BC1 diesel powered engine. They simultaneously start their engines roaring with the crowd.

Now the entourage of team Formula one. The announcer held the microphone and started the player introductions.

"Introducing first the team captain of the Formula one team, coming out of retirement, the legendary, the all-time great.. Michael Schumacher!"

The crowd in attendance roared in response. The other Introduction follows Kimi Raikkonen wearing his red Ferrari shirt, Narain Karthikeyan accompanied by legion of Indian nationals in his comeback in Formula one.

The Team Trial:

Team Philippines started first, well because of their inorganization they screw up their performance while team Formula one displayed brilliant execution resulting in a victory for team Formula one.

Stage One, The Curvaceous Streets of Manila:

Team Philippines has home court advantage; they definitely knew the shortcuts and longcuts while team Formula one were stunned and puzzled on how to avoid the sidewalk vendors, the jaywalkers, and the commuters as a result team Philippines won convincingly.

After stage one Kimster quoted..

"For a second I thought I hit a jaywalker."

Stage Two, The Traditional Race Track:

Team Formula one has tremendous advantage and they are expected to dominate in the stage. The engines start, Schumacher puts up a "Tiger-look" facial expression as Raikkonen puts on his Iceman helmet. Off they go, the jeepney drivers were all pumped up because of the energy drink they bought from one of the sidewalk vendors.

The early laps was a sea-saw affair for both teams as they outdo each other. Last lap, a jeepney driver was leading by an arms-length followed by Raikkonen and Karthikeyan, the three are way ahead of the other guys.

It's shaping up as a win for the jeepney driver but he stopped for a moment, as he just watched Raikkonen and Karthikeyan pass over him. Result team Formula one won the stage.

At the press conference after stage two, the jeepney driver was asked,

"Why did you stop when you're almost their at the finish line?"

He answered, "I saw a passenger, so I stopped you know what they say, the paying customer is always right."

Stage Three, The Ice Covered Peak of Mount Everest

It's a neutral territory. One of the longest races ever, Hamilton was leading the race thought, but he had to withdraw from the race because of frost bites. It now goes down to two for team Formula one against the awesome threesome of the Philippines.

Soon enough, the other racers withdrew one by one until it ended up in a one on one affair featuring Schumacher versus the lone jeepney driver.

It's a tough call as both racers are determined to win.

In the end, team Formula one bags the title courtesy of Schumacher. He finishes about five seconds ahead of the jeepney driver.

Soon at the awarding ceremony the jeepney driver addressed Schumacher,

"If you'll ever go to the Philippines don't forget to ride one of these babies" tapping one of the Sarao jeepneys.