Big And...Worthless: WWE's Big Men Always Get The Short End of the Stick

AkDSenior Writer IFebruary 1, 2009

Hello B/R!

As I continue to write until my hands fall off I have come across a question that just oscillated in my mind. Why are WWE's big men useless?

 I had read an ECW article and responded to comment on the Big Show being useless. I agree. Why did he come to SmackDown anyway? He was an ECW world champion when Paul Heyman ran the show. The story was pretty good. He was drafted to SmackDown and hadn't really done much. He was going to square off against the Great Khali, in what looked like a promising feud given the fact that both are giants and we wanted to see who would stand tall when all was set and done.

WWE scraped it.

Big Show had a tenure on Raw too, and had a feud with Floyd Mayweather going into Wrestlemania 24 as the celebrity match. Boxer vs Giant was a great feud. They both did an excellent job in the actual match. Then Big Show disappeared. He resurfaced on SmackDown only to be Vickie's body guard and watch over La Familia.

He tried to feud with the Undertaker, but that ended almost as fast as Santino being eliminated from the Royal Rumble. He stands there like a drooling giant and always wants to knock someone out. Ever since the Mayweather feud, he tried to be "boxer-like" in the ring.

The Big Doofus was also going to face off against Vladimir Kozlov, but that get scraped as well. What is the Big Show doing now—nothing.

Then there's Kane. WWE sure is creative because Kane has a thing for abusing little guys. He fought Rey, Kofi, even CM punk, who's not that small but smaller than Kane. A legendary character reduced to almost non-existent. Other than his Mysterio feud, we haven't seen much of him until he had affection for Kelly Kelly.

We've seen this before—Kane and Lita. Is he really the big red machine, or the Big Red Stalker? That angle was scrapped when Kane found out that Orton was Kelly Kelly's secret boyfriend and lost to him via dropkick. WWE could have done something here, but they let it slip away just like the Kane/Rey feud. Kane shouldn't have brought out Rey's mask, but he should have brought his mask. Kane would have had a shot at good storyline angles. So where is Kane now? Who knows, but I'm willing to bet he either attacks a lightweight superstar or stalks another WWE diva when he does have another angle again.

Then there's the world's strongest man, Mark Henry. It's kind of hard to be noticed when you've been banished to a dungeon (ECW) and held a title that’s not even better than the IC title (ECW title). Mark Henry doesn't deserve to be on this list, but at the same time he does. Henry was more active than Kane or Big Show but his angles had no depth or substance. It was just “I want your title now let’s fight.”

There weren't any vendettas or personal grudges really. He had a good run nevertheless, but ending up losing to Matt Hardy. WWE also tries too much with the David versus Goliath thing. Not that Hardy is a cruiserweight, but he's still small compared to Henry. (On a side note Rey versus Mike Knox is another David/ Goliath feud to add to the long list.) Hardy moved on the feud with Swagger for the championship while Henry was fading fast into the shadows. Truth be told, I rarely watch ECW so I have no idea what Henry is up to now. I do believe he isn't doing anything more than squash matches though.

Another Big man Snitsky, was released last year because he wasn't a "stand out" superstar and creative just couldn't come up with anything for him. The Mike Knox and Mysterio feud is boring me to death. Is it me or does nobody know why Knox is attacking Rey? Knox never explained why he attacked Rey, let alone even touch the mic since coming to Raw.

Stephanie never bothered to tend to that situation, but spent more time on Regal and CM Punk having a fair match. What puzzles me most is that Rey himself hasn't questioned why he's being attacked or even looks like he wants to ask. What is this? Come on WWE you've got to do better.

Umaga has been irrelevant ever since the Cena feud when he was finally defeated.

Then back to SmackDown. We have Fetus. Are you kidding me? Who came up with this horrible gimmick? He stands there and drools and goes beserk when the bell rings. He's one half of WWE's worst tag team. The horrendous Carlito and Primo Colon are better...heck the Highlanders were better and they were released!

Last there is the Punjabi giant, the Great Khali himself. He was relevant too when he was unstoppable on RAW. Then, he was F-U'ed off a truck and defeated by John Cena (what can't this guy do?).

That was the beginning of the end. We also saw his "Punjabi Prison" match that wasn't as terrifying as it seemed. Due to an injury Big Show filled his spot and lost to the Undertaker. These days Khali is just the big guy that everyone can beat. Triple H pedigreed him no problem. Batista beat him...heck I even think Rey beat him too. Why not? He already defeated Henry, Kane, and Big Show.

He has become completely useless and pops in from time to time for squash matches. Now he's face. He wears a lay around his neck like he's from Hawaii. Why does this keep happening to the big men? Is it so hard to put them in good feuds? The only exceptions to this are the old school Kane v The Undertaker and muscle head Batista. It seems like they're forever cursed. I hope the WWE can do something about this soon.