A haircut can make or break a man's career. Multi-million industries are built around the idea of having the perfect haircut, and while for many, having the right haircut doesn't matter, in the words of American author, Fran Lebowitz, "You're only as good as your last haircut."
This rule, like most of the rules in the "real world," doesn't seem to apply to the WWE, where bad haircuts, not only are the norm, they are, in many ways, a rite of passage many popular superstars have had to endure.
For some superstars, bad hair is a genetic disposition or a sign of the times (80's, I'm looking at you), while in others, bad haircuts are indicative of the bad decisions that plague the world of professional wrestling.
Join me as I share the follicular misfortunes of WWE superstars, old and new, in this list of the WWE's 15 worst haircuts and bad hair days of all-time.
Dwayne Johnson may be known as "the Rock" today, but when he first began his WWE career, the third-generation sports entertainer was known as "Rocky Maivia" (a combination of his father's name, Rocky Johnson, and his grandfather, "High Chief" Peter Maivia.
His "Blue Chipper" gimmick was hated by fans who would often chant "Die Rocky Die!" and "Rocky Sucks" during his matches.
The Rock would eventually change his gimmick, turning into a charismatic bully and in the process lose his goofy haircut—thank goodness!
The "Toughest S.O.B. on the Planet," Stone Cold Steve Austin has for years been easily recognizable because of his shaved head, but in his early days, he was known as Stunning Steve Austin, a flamboyant playboy with long flowing locks.
Why? Oh Lord, why?
Many WWE performers have had "bad haircuts" or "bad hair days." Paul Heyman has had "bad hair decades." Like an old champion refusing to let go of his former glory, the balding Heyman still adheres to his long, yuppy-style ponytail.
Two words—shave it!
Speaking of men who should shave their heads. For years, Hulk Hogan has gone through goofy attempts to hide his balding head. Like Heyman, he needs to shave it (or buy a wig).
If it worked for Stone Cold Steve Austin and for the Rock, it should work for everyone. No?
I take my words back. Not everyone needs to shave their heads.
Seriously, Hawk, what kind of haircut is that? I honestly think it takes more effort to screw a shaved head than it does to make it look good. I mean, what kind of person messes that up?
Quick story about myself: I used to play high school football on a team where every summer, the offensive line used to get goofy haircuts for summer ball. Some people would shave silly symbols on their heads or get funky mohawks.
No one, however, was stupid enough to get whatever that thing on Tyson Kidd's head is.
Kill it with fire! Wait, can fire even hurt Kane? Wait, isn't fire the reason Kane wears a mask? Wait, why did Kane stop wearing a mask? And why wasn't his face burnt like they have been telling us for years? And why was he wearing a wig? And why was his real hair half-shaved?
So many questions, such bad hair.
I am a little hesitant to critique this shaved head. I like the Undertaker's new look, but as a man who's always wanted a long head of hair, I don't understand why the Deadman decided to give that up.
Maybe Michelle McCool got tired of him hogging up all the hair conditioner.
In all honestly, I've always envied the Ultimate Warrior's long flowy hair. But for some strange reason, it also reminds me of Farrah Fawcett's hair in the her iconic poster, and we can't have that, can we?
John Laurinaitis' long hair reminds me of the girl from the movie Carrie. Needless to say, it's a bad hairdo.
My guess is that for his match with Cena at Over the Limit later his month, he is going to reveal his telekinetic powers and enact revenge on all the popular people who made fun of him.
Scottie 2 Hottie... more like Scottie 2 bad your haircut sucks-ottie (sorry, I learned all my insults in third grade and never saw a reason to learn new ones).
But yeah, it's a bad haircut. Unlike Scottie's former stable name, it is not Too Cool.
Jack Swagger has always been plagued with having some of the worst hair on the WWE roster. Unfortunately, his current "solution" is no better than the cut he was sporting before.
Maybe he should shave it? It worked for Kurt Angle (but then again, so did Swagger's current gimmick).
I am not sure which "hair" in this picture bothers me the most.
Aw, look the Miz thinks he's tough. Silly Miz.
While there is nothing wrong, per se, about the Miz's haircut here. I for one am glad he's sporting that dumb faux-hawk now. Maybe one day, he'll get a big boy haircut.
Thanks for reading.