Scott Steiner: The Greatest Performer Ever

Ryan Senior Writer IJanuary 29, 2009

Getting a rare night off from school and the girlfriend being at work, I had a chance to sit down and watch TNA wrestling for the first time in quite a long time.

As usual, I was disappointed. 

I absolutely hate ODB, can't stand how blatant a rip-off the Main Event Mafia is of the nWo (right down to a take-over on this most recent episode) and can't help but laugh at that abomination known as Suicide.

The one thing I enjoyed? The greatest to ever speak on the microphone.  The genetic freak, Big Poppa Pump Scott Steiner.

At first, this article was going to be a joke.  Scott's wrestling abilities have declined with each anabolic steroid injection.  He isn't the same performer he was during the end of WCW, let alone when he and brother Rick were ruling the tag team wrestling world.

He's turned into a botching machine.  He can't go one match without seriously jeopardizing his opponent's health.

His mic skills? They're terrible even with subtitles.  He stumbles through his rants, mispronouncing words left and right.  Though, I have to say, he's arguably the most unintentionally funny wrestler ever.

His work in WCW was epic.  From his infamous shoot on Ric Flair where he calls the Nature Boy a "butt-sucker" to his comments about sleeping with an opponent's wife or girlfriend, Scott was hilarious.

Hell, tonight, he served as the ring announcer and introduced the opening match between Awesome Kong's team and ODB as "four bitches on one."  Let's face it: the guy is the only good thing going in TNA right now.

No matter how many more months we have to sit through a meaningless Sting title reign, another boring promo from Booker T, or another terrible performance by Jeremy Borash, Scotty Steiner is there to save the day.

He'll be there with his freaks, his peaks, and his epic linguistic skills.  And frankly? I can't wait for his next promo.