In Baseball
No. 10—The Yankees become the first team to spend $1 billion on free agents in a single offseason.
No. 9—Jason Giambi signs with Oakland. Oakland then signs Jose Canseco and Mark McGwire—the "Bash Brothers" are back!
No. 8—George Steinbrenner, tired of not making the playoffs, buys the Tampa Bay Rays. He then realizes he spent less money on buying the Rays than buying Mark Teixiera.
No. 7—John Smoltz joins every golf club in the state of Massachusetts.
No. 6—Greg Maddux, inspired by Brett Favre, rejects $20 million from the Braves to stay retired and joins the New York Gregs.
No. 5—Adam Dunn finally gets a hot date. He can take the heat, but she throws him a curveball and he strikes out as usual.
No. 4—Manny Ramirez is not signed by anyone. He then returns home to the urinals inside the Green Monster.
No. 3—Barry Zito is thrown in jail for stealing $126 million. The biggest heist in American history, besides Barry Madoff of course.
No. 2—The Marlins finalize a deal for a new stadium. The plan is to have 5,000 seats, so they can sellout some games.
No. 1—The Royals have a new season ticket package. Prices start at -$5.
In Football
No. 10—The real reason why Sam Bradford stayed in school. Have you seen the Detroit Lions?
No. 9—Barack Obama will expand NFL rosters to 75 in an attempt to create new jobs.
No. 8—If there has ever been a Super Bowl when the commercials have been more interesting than the game…
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