This Saturday, UFC on Fox 3 goes down in fabulous East Rutherford, New Jersey. If you follow MMA via one or more of the various tubes, you probably already know the matchups, the strengths, the weaknesses and the stakes.
To be sure, fighter news and "thoughtful analysis" and what not have their place. But I wonder: whither the important stuff? When did we lose sight of what really matters, is what I wonder. What about issues like, which fights are going to be boring enough so you can take a pee break during them? Who's getting knocked the fudge out? Who's going home with a new leg for the mantelpiece? Rousimar, I'm looking in your direction. No, Rousimar. I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to make eye contact. No! Stay back! HEEL! NO, NO, I DIDN'T MEAN THAT EITHER! LET IT GO, FOR GOD'S SAKE, LET IT GO!
This list addresses these hard-hitting questions and a great many more by ranking each fight from least exciting to most, and providing all the critical information in a nutshell.