Wenger, Arshavin and Zenit Star In "From Russia With Love"

Use your ← → (arrow) keys to browse more stories
Wenger, Arshavin and Zenit Star In

From Russia with Love.

Stars: Arshavin, Zenit, Wenger.

Location: Multiple, Russia and England.

 

Scene 179

 

Arshavin: It would be a dream to play for Barcelona.

Wenger: Arsenal's transfer dealings don't take place in public!

Zenit: Why?

Wenger: It's not our way of doing things.

Zenit: Ohhhhhhhh!

Wenger: By the way Arshavin is overrated.

Arshavin: It would be a dream to play for Tottenham.

Wenger: We have the quality to challenge for the title.

Fabregas: Boss, I am hurt.

Arshavin: It would be a dream to play for Arsenal.

Wenger: Arshavin is exactly what Arsenal need.

Arshavin: Gotcha!

Zenit: He is worth £20m.

Wenger: Okay! Here's £11,!

Zenit: No. It's not enough!

Arshavin: I want to move to Arsenal to prove my worth.

Wenger: Take another million, that's it!

Zenit: Is this your final offer?

Wenger: This is my final offer.

Zenit: NO. Still not enough.

Arshavin's Agent: I am frustrated!

Arshavin: Don't worry. I'll pray to god.

Wenger: I am hopeful.

Zenit: He is worth £20m.

Wenger: £12.5m + add-ons = £15m. This is my offer.

Zenit: Are you sure?

Wenger: You will not hold me to ransom.

Arshavin's Agent: See, Zenit is "barbaric".

Zenit: But he is worth £20m!

Arshavin: I'll go on strike!

Zenit: We have an agreement!

Wenger: I don't know anything about it.

Zenit: Arshavin wants more money.

Arshavin: I have nothing to do with it. The clubs will decide.

Zenit: Arshavin, you are a liar!

Wenger: I am not close to signing anyone.

Zenit: He wants money, Wenger! Money, money, money.

Wenger: OK! I'll be quiet.

(Wenger sits quiet in the corner, disappointed and visibly broken. Arshavin and Zenit  approach him with stealthy feet!)

Arshavin, Zenit: You've just been PUNKED! hahahahaha! You've just been PUNKED!

Wenger: I have signed Miguel Veloso and we have the quality in our squad.

 

Me: What rubbish am I writing! I need a nap, honestly. Sorry I've got to leave you with this..."thing?".

 

 

Load More Stories

International Champions Cup

Out of Bounds

Arsenal

Subscribe Now

We will never share your email address

Thanks for signing up.