Players leaving, players arriving, managers leaving, managers arriving, retirement homes, loanees, twitter, beards, handshakes and Holland are what make up today's gossip roundup.
Confused? You only need read on to discover what on earth I'm talking about.
Gossip is always interesting, if not sometimes frustrating and meaningless, but there is some light at the end of the tunnel with this mash-up of paper talk.
All the good stories start at the beginning, so I'll do the same.
Edinson Cavani, Eden Hazard and Fernando Llorente are the players being mentioned, although if we use Andy Carroll as a bench mark, £75 million will likely only buy two of the aforementioned trio.
If the MLS aren't careful, their league will never be taken seriously in world football.
Ageing players are using the American system to see out their careers in a football league vastly short of the quality they are used to.
The advantage to them? Football that is easy, wages that are high and sunshine that is hot.
Young Brazilian star Lucas is apparently a player on Alex Ferguson's wish list at Manchester United, whilst also attracting the attention of Jose Mourinho at Real Madrid.
The talented midfielder has been linked with a £12 million move but that figure seems way too low for his ability.
A 19 year-old attacking midfielder with 11 senior caps for Brazil? £12 million would be a bargain.
There's lots of talk regarding the future of Pep Guardiola after it has emerged he is set to quit Barcelona at the end of the season.
Following Chelsea's win against Barcelona in the Champions League this week, Geoff Shreeves has apparently been hounded on Twitter for his remark's toward Branislav Ivanovic in the post-match interview.
Shreeves felt the need to tell Ivanovic that he would miss the final due to the amount of yellow cards he had received in the competition—a fact seemingly unbeknown to Ivanovic.
You can see the interview above.
Like I've been trying to tell my boss for years, beard's are a growing trend in more ways than one.
In the support of Gael Givet and Balckburn's bid for survival, Rovers fans have decided that the way to save their season is by growing a replica Gael Givet beard.
If only they had thought of that at the beginning of the season they could have saved all this relegation nonsense.
Despite somehow negotiating his way past Barcelona in the Champions League and also assuring a spot in the FA Cup final with Chelsea, it seems Roberto Di Matteo may still be looking for a new job in the summer.
With Pep Guardiola and Joachim Loew apparently Roman Abramovich's first two choices as future Chelsea manager, it seems Roberto Di Matteo will have to win both cups to even have a chance of seeing a long term contract,
In light of the John Terry racism issue with Anton Ferdinand being still unresolved, the Premier League has decided to cancel the pre-match handshake of Chelsea and Queens Park Rangers so as to not influence the summer trial of the accused Terry.
How about they just sort the whole affair out in a couple of years time and that way Terry can continue to repair his reputation as one of football's...ahem...role models...you know...like he did against Barcelona this week.
Kuyt has been a bit park player under Kenny Dalglish and has big wages to match his ageing status within the squad.
£1 million is all the club is likely to receive for the 31 year-old who is out of contract next summer.
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