Yankees Cologne: Bombers Take Merchandising Too Far with New Fragrance

If you're a fan of the New York Yankees, the best way to show your allegiance is to wear a Yankees cap.

If you must, you can also boast about the team's 27 world championships. Just don't be surprised when your audience responds by rolling his/her/their eyes.

Maybe these things aren't enough for you. Maybe you don't want people to just see that you're a Yankees fan. Maybe you want people to be able to smell your Yankees fanhood.

Wait, what?

Yup. You can now smell like a Yankees fan. According to the New York Daily News, the Yankees have their own cologne, which hit shelves this month.

It's not just men who can buy the Yankees' official fragrance, as there's one for women too. Men will smell like “fresh wood tones” and “earthy patchouli,” and women will smell like “a juicy blend of fruit notes” mixed with water lily and sandalwood, according to the Daily News.

Apparently, these aromas are inspired by the Yankees. In response to that, all I can do is shrug and say, "If they say so."

So, how exactly did this cologne come to be? You'll have to ask the Yankees, but I have a theory. If you travel deep enough into the bowels of Yankee Stadium, you'll surely come across a scene like this one:

Merchandising! Merchandising! Where the real money from the team is made!

Yeah, but this is going just a wee bit too far. A Yankees flamethrower would have been more reasonable.

Just think about what we know about the Yankees. We know that they're the most successful franchise in American sports history, and because of that, we also know that they're the most pompous organization in American sports today.

The Yankees just would produce their own cologne. The only thing more pompous than this would be to produce Yankees cigar cutters, Yankees brandy glasses or Yankees race day hats.

Just keep it simple, Yankees. Baseball fans don't want cologne. Over-obsessed Yankees fans might, but generally speaking, baseball fans like simple things like hats, T-shirts and jerseys. Baseball fans don't want anything fancy, so there's no need to produce anything fancy.

If you're a Yankees fan, I implore you not to go out and buy the Yankees cologne. If you do, you'll be playing right into the stereotype that says Yankee fans are the lamest fans in existence.

By the way, the stuff isn't cheap. At 50 bucks a pop, I bet even Alex Rodriguez will think twice about opening his wallet for this stuff.