Brock Lesnar Chronicles: Week 2 in the UFC Legend's Return to the WWE
Were you a big Brock Lesnar fan who's not quite sure how to feel about his return to pro wrestling? Can't be in front of the television every Monday night, or unclear how to work a DVR despite it being 2012? Well, I've found my purpose in life, bringing you Brock Lesnar's WWE exploits weekly right here at Bleacher Report.
- After recapping Lesnar's triumphant return to the WWE last week, they waste little time bringing Lesnar out to the ring. He's there with John Laurinaitis, the new authority figure, which establishes Lesnar as a bad guy. The crowd hasn't quite caught on, as Lesnar is met with more cheers than boos. Lesnar has one goal—bringing legitimacy back to the WWE.
Laurinaitis announces the two will meet at Extreme Rules on PPV in three weeks. Then...wait for it...that's John Cena's music! The former champion interrupts Lesnar, who once again forgot the sleeves on his MMA style t-shirt. Positively Belichickian.
Cena slaps Lesnar in the face and Lesnar responds, sensibly, with a takedown and some ground-and-pound. The first punch was a solid one. Potato alert! Later the announcers hint that Cena actually lost some teeth in the exchange.
An absolutely comical number of superstars run into ring to separate them and even more comically, can't. It's an ode to Stone Cold Steve Austin and Mike Tyson in the lead-up to WrestleMania 14. The two go back and forth playing "hold me back" and Cena ends up with a split lip. Someone may need to remind Lesnar that wrestling is worked.
Lesnar is finally dragged out the ring, while Cena smiles maniacally. Things are finally simmering down as we cut to a commercial break. (Lesnar Segment 1)
- Lesnar later comes back out for an interview with Josh Matthews. Lesnar tries to give himself a new nickname, "The War Machine," and tells Matthews that Cena couldn't hold his jock strap, as he proved it in the ring. (Lesnar Segment 2)
- The show ends with Lesnar, once again, getting the best of Cena. He sneaks up behind Cena after the WWE's biggest star won a squash, kicking him right in the nuts and F-5ing him. The show goes off the air with Cena lying helpless in the ring, (Lesnar Segment 3)
My Not So Humble Opinion:
- The segment played to Lesnar's strengths. He didn't have to talk much and got to takedown and punch someone in the face. He's probably loving this return. In two weeks, Lesnar hasn't taken a single bump and has dominated Cena.
- They went a little too far filling the ring with wrestlers. It wasn't exactly believable to see the two men shrug off the entire WWE roster to get at each other. But it was intense and it worked. If you wanted us to believe in a feud between the two men, well, some blood the hard way is a good start. (Segment 1)
- Lesnar's first promo since returning to the WWE went fairly well. Lesnar lets us know he's proud to be back in wrestling, just like he's proud of everything he does. It didn't blow anyone away, but it was perfectly respectable. It will get better as he gets back in the swing of things. (Segment 2)
- Has John Cena never watched wrestling before? Everyone in the building knew Lesnar would hit the ring. Everyone, except apparently, John Cena. They are really doing a good job building Lesnar back into a star. (Segment 3)
- First and foremost I'd like to thank you, Mr. Laurinaitis, for bringing credibility back to the WWE." (Segment 1)
- "A guy like John Cena? He thinks he's at the top. But he couldn't hold my jock strap in a million years." (Segment 2)
Classic Lesnar Moment of the Week:
Lesnar apologizes after talking trash to Frank Mir after their UFC 100 rematch.
What's next for Lesnar? Will Cena get his revenge? Will Lauriniatis serve as his mouthpiece going forward, or was that a one-time thing? And will Lesnar debut a t-shirt with sleeves? Stay tuned to this space for the latest in all things Brock Lesnar.
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