New York Jets: A Fans' Guide to Dealing with Tebow Mania

Danny PaskasSenior Analyst IApril 5, 2012

New York Jets: A Fans' Guide to Dealing with Tebow Mania

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    Tebow Mania is so crazy that a picture of two fans sporting New York Jets Tim Tebow jerseys was taken in New York even before the deal to acquire the backup QB was not even finalized yet.

    It's so crazy that, after the trade was made official, Tebow arrived to the East Coast by way of a private plane with a news helicopter filming as he touched down.

    It's so crazy that a televised press conference to introduce Tebow to the New York media had to be moved to the Jets' field house at their practice facility in order to accommodate the more than 200 media members that showed up to cover the first ever news conference for a backup QB.

    ESPN covered the press conference while the Jets streamed it live on the team's website.

    It's so craz...ehh enough with that, but how about this?

    Just yesterday, a judge rejected Reebok's bid to overturn his ban on its sale of Tim Tebow New York Jets jerseys Wednesday, saying the public can wait a few weeks for Nike Tebow jerseys to show up in stores.

    "It is a minor hardship to Jets and Tim Tebow fans to have to wait till April 27 to get their jerseys," the judge said.

    Minor hardship? This judge is obviously unaware of Tebow Mania.

    Didn't he hear of the fan that got Tebow's name tattooed on his back in huge lettering?

    Here is a fans' guide to dealing with Tebow Mania. 

1. Be Ready to Talk Tebow with the Most Random People

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    Tim Tebow is extremely popular. According to a recent SI.com article, Tebow ranks No. 4 among all celebrities on the Marketing Arm's Davie-Brown Index Endorsement scale, behind only Oprah Winfrey, Adele and Kate Middleton.

    He has also broken into the top 10 in the Influence category, where he is alongside Justin Bieber, Johnny Depp and Brad Pitt.

    In the Trendsetter category, Tebow is at No. 6, in the company of Katy Perry, Beyonce and Justin Timberlake.

    The Marketing Arm also calculated that more than 75 percent of all U.S. consumers know who he is.

    Tebow is a walking tabloid and has been recently romantically linked to country singer Taylor Swift and Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn. 

    All of this translates to possibly talking Tebow and football with your girlfriend, your mother or whoever never showed the slightest concern for your New York Jets, B.T. (Before Tebow).

    If you cannot come across a nice pair of noise-cancelling headphones, just be patient with these new fans of your Jets. Unless Tebow gets traded, they are here to stay for the immediate future.

    If the new fans become extremely hard to deal with while you're watching the Jets game, instead of taking your aggression out on them or something else, just repeat the mantra, ''Serenity Now.'' 

2. Fathers, Don't Worry About Your Daughters

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    If you are an older New York Jets fan who has a daughter who is of dating age and Tim Tebow comes to pick your daughter up at midnight on a Tuesday to "hang out," let her go.

    Do not concern yourself in the least. With Tebow, you can take those quotation marks away, because all they really would be doing is hanging out or possibly going to a Midnight Mass somewhere.

    Tebow has publicly stated that he is saving himself for marriage. Britney Spears also claimed to be a virgin, but Tebow is different, he's genuine and believable.

    Tebow was a college kid who, rather than spend his summers partying, went to an orphanage his father's ministry runs to help doctors in the circumcision of boys during a missionary trip.

    He spends hours on end volunteering his time and connecting with multiple causes. ESPN's Rick Reilly wrote this article about him in January.

    Tebow also has his own Tim Tebow Foundation, in which he is heavily involved. Needless to say, he is very hard not to like. 

3. Yes, God Is on Tebow's Side

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    Yes, God does watch football. And yes, he is a huge Tim Tebow fan. And yes, he has helped Tebow win games in the past.

    How else would somebody explain how a QB who can't pass beat the Pittsburgh Steelers in the playoffs?

    Against the Steelers, Tebow threw for 316 yards, going 10-of-21 for 31.6 yards per throw.

    As it so happens, while playing at the University of Florida, Tebow used to wear black eye paint with "John 3:16" written on them. John 3:16 refers to a biblical passage.

    So, OF COURSE God is on his side, which in turn means he is on the New York Jets side. So get behind it, Jets fans—after last season, they need all the help they can get.

    Who else has the Almighty backing them?

    Uh oh, wait a minute. I just saw that Tebow ran for 660 yards last season. That's only six rushing yards away from him totaling 666 yards. The devil's number! The mark of the beast!

    Maybe God doesn't help Tebow; maybe he wins all by himself? I'm so confused right now.

    Just a heads up, 43 percent of people believe that Tebow wins via Divine Intervention. You might want shy away from that group.

4. Learn How to Defend Him

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    Remember, New York Jets fans, Tim Tebow is yours now and you must know how to defend him against all the haters.

    It might be painful to watch, but tune in to watch ESPN's resident Tebow superfan Skip Bayless whenever you can to learn why Tebow is such a great QB.

    To defend Saint Timmy, you can always take the route of this song, no matter how old or annoying it gets. ''He's a gamer. He's a baller. He's a playmaker and a shot-caller.''

    ''Unleash...''

    If you choose to go another route, you can say something like, "47.3 percent of the time, Tebow has a perfect completion percentage every time."

    You can also just keep mentioning the Pittsburgh Steelers playoff game.

    Or that he took a team that started the season 1-4 behind Kyle Orton only to step into the starting QB position and lead them to the playoffs.

    Even the John Elway comparison works sometimes. In Elway and Tebow's first eight games, Tebow has two more wins, 240 more passing yards and 458 more rushing yards. Tebow also threw for seven more TDs, rushed for four more TDs and threw six fewer interceptions.

    ''All he does is win.''  That damn song is catchy.

5. Know Your Tebowisms

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    Tim Tebow can touch MC Hammer.

    Tim Tebow is the reason Waldo is hiding.

    When Tim Tebow was a kid, he made his mom finish his vegetables for him.

    That's just a few Tebowisms for you, from Foxsports.com.

    Tebowisms are also on Twitter.

    These Tebowisms are somewhat necessary reading. You're going to need some sort of comic relief since watching Tebow play, even when he is winning, is excruciating to watch.

    You could even make up your own. Here's mine: I heard New York is changing their nickname from the Big Apple to the Big Orange, since being from Florida, Tebow prefers oranges.

    Can anyone think of their own Tebowism?