Parodies: That Miss (Darren Bent's Header)

David Jacobs by Correspondent Written on January 20, 2009
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This parody recaps the terrible miss by Darren Bent against Portsmouth
on Sunday, which could so easily have got Spurs the lift they needed and sent them rocketing back up into 12th place in the League.

The outrageously squandered chance cost the team three points.

My grandmother could have scored that goal.

 

Tune - 'The Fear' by Lily Allen.

I'm already rich. Spurs paid lots of money
Just to watch me miss headers, Not being funny.
I give the ball cheap when I get behind it.
And what about that goal, still tryin' to find it.

And I may be transferred and it will be shameless.
'Coz everyone thinks that I run around aimless.
Look at that Sunday, I remember it clearer
Now that I squandered a chance at that winner.

I don't know where to shoot and when anymore.
And I don't know if I can stay with them anymore.
And when do you think I'll stop playin' pissed.
'Coz I'm still kicking myself about that miss.

I'm sorry 'bout Spurs when they accept my shooting.
I used to like Arsenal while I lived in Tooting.
But it doesn't matter. I'm now not that drastic.
Amr Zaki and me make Soccer A.M. fantastic.

My headers are weapons of massive disruption.
It's only my feet that are programmed to function.
Look at that Sunday, I remember it clearer
Now that I squandered a chance at that winner.

I don't know where to shoot and when anymore.
And I don't know if I can stay with them anymore.
And when do you think I'll stop playin' pissed.
'Coz I'm still kicking myself about that miss.

Forget about brains and forget intuition.
I'd rather just strike than make a decision.
I'm not that good, I'm not that bad either.
Hopefully Wednesday night, I'll get a breather.

I don't know where to shoot and when anymore.
And I don't know if I can stay with them anymore.
And when do you think I'll stop playin' pissed.
'Coz I'm still kicking myself about that miss.

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written on January 20, 2009 Humor

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