As I wrote last May in my article, "My Fiancee the Sports Fan", I established the fact that my wife hates sports.
And now all she does is rub it in my face.
Here is the story:
As a new husband, I am always trying to get out of housework. Having been laid off three times since October 2008, I am usually around the house anyways. But, according to my wife, when I am around the house, it only gets messier, and she began her desperate pleas for help.
So I made her a deal.
I made to NFL playoff brackets, similar to the March Madness brackets. I told her that this was the solution to our cleaning dispute.
"Whoever gets the least amount of games right has to do the cleaning for the next month."
At first Mandy was sceptical. She had filled out a March Madness brackets last year, and didn't fare very well. But she agreed, and we filled out our brackets and placed them on the fridge.
My plan was fool-proof! My wife doesn't watch football! There was no possible way she could win! In fact, in the beginning she asked me which team hasn't been to the Super Bowl.
"Okay. I'm gonna pick them."
"That crazy," I said. "There is no way they will get there." I then began to list off a million different reasons why the Cardinals WOULDN'T reach the Super Bowl.
"Well, I just think that it is their turn."
We did our fare shares of cleaning over the next few weeks (she may have done more than I), but I slowly began to see my chances to decrease.
I had picked the Colts over the Chargers, the Vikings over the Eagles, the Falcons over the Cardinals, and the Dolphins over the Ravens in the first round.
I was 0-4.
My wife, on the other hand, picked the Chargers over the Colts, the Eagles over the Vikings, the Cardinals over the Falcons, and the Ravens over the Dolphins.
After that fiasco, we resolved to go on a week-to-week picking system (seeing as I had all 1 and 2 seeds in the championship games). I would still retain my 0-4 record, and she would retain her 4-0.
I had the Giants over the Eagles (Sorry Philadelphia. You already have the World Series title. Share the wealth), the Panthers over the Cardinals, the Titans over the Ravens, and the Steelers over the Chargers.
I was now 1-7.
My wife, however, picked the Eagles over the Giants, the Cardinals over the Panthers, the Ravens over the Titans, and the Steelers over the Chargers.
I was dumbfounded.
In the title games, I picked the Cardinals over the Eagles, and the Ravens over the Steelers.
She picked the Cardinals over the Eagles, and the Steelers over the Ravens.
2-8 vs 9-0.
As I sit here in front of my computer, with a list of household chores to accomplish, I can only sit and wonder what went wrong.
The only conclusion I can think of is why I didn't take my wife to Vegas.
(In case you are interested, she picked the Cardinals over the Steelers in the Super Bowl. I would also like to take this time to apologize to Cardinals fans for being a doubter.)