Ladies and gentlemen, hello and welcome to the fourth pay-per-view "award ceremony"! Sadly, I couldn't cover Elimination Chamber a couple months ago—laziness is a powerful force.
That being said, let's jump right into introducing the awards that will be handed out today:
- Mark-Out Moment
- Overachiever of the Night: This award goes to the superstar(s) in the undercard who put up a stunning performance.
- Underachiever of the Night: This award goes to the superstar(s) who did not perform up to expectations, even if they had a good match. This award can go to any competitor, upper or undercard.
- Superstar of the Night: This is a kayfabe award and goes to the superstar who had an all-around incredible night.
- Butt of the Night: This is a kayfabe award and goes to the superstar who had the worst night.
- Finishing Touch: This is awarded to the finishing maneuver that ended up having the most impact on the course of the show, or the one that looked the best, depending on my mood. The maneuver doesn't have to win a match to be considered, although that always helps.
- Question Mark Moment: Simply put, this is a moment that made me go, "Huh?"
- Match of the Night
Now, these awards are based on my opinion, which makes it OK for you to disagree—respectfully, of course. If you do disagree, sound off in the comment section below. I promise not to shoot you down...I hope.
Now, with that out of the way, let's begin!
Now, this I did not see coming.
I think I speak for a considerable number of people when I say I was supporting The Rock to take home the victory, but was fully expecting John Cena to win.
Then a Rock Bottom later, The Rock's hand was raised in victory. I, like many other people, lost it. I ran around my dorm room screaming at the top of my voice in joy. (What was I screaming? Why, "YES," of course. Repeatedly. Why does that sound familiar?)
Of course, questions have been raised as to whether this was the right decision, and I will address that later in this article. That being said, it was a win that capped off a really entertaining match, and one that The Rock would savor for a very, very long time.
And just because I'm cool like that, I'll close this with: "IF YOU SMELLLLL...WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING!"
I hear it's kung pao chicken.
The Undertaker and Shawn Michaels help a battle-weary Triple H out of the ring.
CM Punk retains his WWE Championship after a ridiculously good match.
The Undertaker keeps the Streak alive: 20-0.
All is right with the world again.
The Miz can not only say that he's undefeated at WrestleMania (now 3-0), he can also say that he pinned Zack Ryder to launch John Laurinaitis' career to a bigger and better level. If those aren't bragging rights, I don't know what are.
The Miz, like Zack Ryder, hasn't had a very good year, having to claw his way into the WrestleMania card by actively getting involved in a play that needed a few more actors. It seems the play was a smashing success (at least for Team Johnny), and The Miz got to take a very satisfying bow.
It intrigues me to see where Miz will go from here, but for now, the face of the WWE's echelon has changed thanks to one thing: a skull-crushing finale
Now, this I blame on the creative team.
In regards to this "match" (I'm using this term really loosely), there has been a certain article pointedly telling fans to "shut the hell up."
The only possible upside I can see to this is that it helps make Bryan angry, so angry that he takes it out of AJ verbally and emotionally, hereby advancing his heel character. And even that result could have been achieved through better means.
There's very little excuse for taking what is supposed to be a Heavyweight Title match and giving it a number of seconds. Was someone cashing in a bloody Money in the Bank? No. No, nobody was.
What makes it worse is that this happened on WrestleMania. It would have been slightly more bearable on any other pay-per-view but for the love of God, not WrestleMania.
The fact that this match got so little build is in no way a valid reason to breeze past it.
Many people have said to look at the future possibilities. That's the same thing that was said about Christian losing his Heavyweight Title days after winning it. What happened to that? The Christian character suffered immensely in the months to follow, regardless of the amazing feud it birthed.
In the long term, we could look back on this and realize it was a brilliant move. But for now, I'll take it at face value: it's nothing but irritating.
The Divas. Again. This is getting sad.
After a year of hype, The Rock walked into WrestleMania and ran down John Cena in what was a genuinely fun match to watch.
Like I said before, The Rock wasn't my pick to win, but somewhere, somehow, he managed to pin Cena, who got his first clean loss in four years last night (why hasn't the world stopped turning by now?).
It seems like this important win isn't going to be a one-night-only thing, as The Rock has stated that he will be present in full capacity at the upcoming WrestleMania. If that is the case, then I look forward to whatever it is The Rock decide to do next.
And I especially look forward to what the fallout from WrestleMania will be for both Rock and Cena. If there is a fallout.
There's a reason this award isn't going to either Cena, Triple H or Jericho, and that is because all of these men looked incredible in defeat. They lost their respective matches, but not before beating the hell out of their opponents.
There is one person who can't say this.
A certain bearded man that Ron Swanson would be horrified to have a meal with.
A certain bearded man who has one of the most adorable girlfriends you'll ever meet.
A certain bearded man who screams "YES" like a raving lunatic whenever....
You know what? Let's cut the crap—Daniel Bryan, ladies and gentlemen.
Like I said before, having Bryan lose this way could turn out to be a brilliant move. For now though, it is enough to make him our Butt of the Night. A collective round of applause, please.
A Chokeslam is already a good-looking move on its own. A Chokeslam from the turnbuckles is unreal.
I suspected that Kane would win the match, if for anything, for the sake of momentum. And now that he has momentum, it would be intriguing to see if the WWE continues this feud with Randy or blows it off for something else.
Knowing the Randy Orton character, he probably wouldn't leave Kane alone until he gets a rematch, probably punting a few jobbers in the skull to make his point clear.
Ah, sweet sweet violence.
Skull Crushing Finale
Sheamus' 18 Second Win
I have already talked way too much about this. However, I'd like to lay out the questions that plague my mind about this particular issue:
Is this part of some bigger plan? What do you think both men thought when they heard it would be an eighteen second match? How much did they get paid to do this? Is this better than a dark match or on par with a dark match?
How will Bryan recover from this? How long will it take to recover from this? What kind of champion can Sheamus claim to be if he doesn't allow his opponents to ready themselves for a match? Is this justifiable behavior for a champion?
The Rock winning over John Cena
Now, this is where it gets interesting.
I've already stated that I loved the fact that the Rock won the match. That being said, it raises a number of question marks:
Was it the right choice? Wasn't this supposed to be a 'Passing of the Torch' scenario? With a win like this, how frequently would the Rock be on WWE programming? Where is Cena going to go from here?
Will Cena now turn heel (I know the answer to that one: not a chance)? How will he bounce back from what is really a devastating loss? Was this the original finish; did Vince swerve, as he does from time to time?
Will there be a rematch? Should there be a rematch?
All valid questions that hopefully will be answered in the next couple weeks.
If there were two very close Match of the Night contenders, I would normally tie them and collectively call them the Matches of the Night. Here, we have a unique situation. We have three.
With that said, I'll still do what I normally do: tie all three and give you our Matches of the Night:
The Undertaker vs. Triple H
Based on pure emotion alone, this was the best match of the night. Riveting, filled with drama, slightly overbooked, but very engaging.
This match ended with Undertaker keeping his awe inspiring streak alive, and the fans got to witness a piece of history as three of the greatest to ever step in the ring walked out, arm in arm. Great stuff.
CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho
If you're heads over heels in love with technicality, rejoice: Jericho and Punk did what everyone knew they would—raise the roof.
By far the best wrestled match of the night, this contest turned out to be dramatic thanks to the great build it has gotten, and ended appropriately with Punk getting the pinfall. For some reason, though, I don't think this is the last we've heard of Jericho.
Oh well. If we keep getting matches like this, I have no reason to complain.
The Rock vs. John Cena
It's human nature to imagine just what would happen if an event with so much hype falls flat.
Well, I did, and I'm glad to say this did not fall flat. Not the best technical contest (we already know which match gets that honor), but a really fun match that entertained as it should have.
All in all, both men looked great, and worked really hard to put out the match they did, a match that we wouldn't be forgetting anytime soon.
And that's that, ladies and gentlemen—the WrestleMania 2012 Awards. I hope you enjoyed this, and feel free to comment below. Let me know what you thought of the article and your opinions on the choices.
Thank you for reading and until next time, I am Jo-Jo, and I'm not that damn good.