Open Letter to Vancouver Canucks Fans

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Open Letter to Vancouver Canucks Fans

Some Vancouver Canucks fans have called me out for mocking their team. They've ripped me for giving my opinions on their beloved team.

Last time I checked, this is a forum for opinions for sports fans, not one for personal attacks on community members. But what do Canucks lovers know anyway?

You say one bad thing about their team, and their egos can't take it.

"Don't quit your day job, and I don't need fries with that," one Vancouverite wrote in, insinuating that I have a lowly job and that he's got more money than me.

Check that. I guess he just graduated from elementary school and just learned how to order food from McDonald's and he's trying to do name-calling.

Advice to you, don't eat that much fast food. It's not good for your health.

But getting back to Canucks fans in general...

Me, "jealous" of Roberto Luongo or the Canucks--oh by the way, a team that has never won anything?

That's funny.

Yes, yes. Vancourites like to rub it in people's faces that they stole Luongo and Naslund for next to nothing.

Geez, I guess they left out the part where they gave away future power forward Cam Neely (along with a draft pick which turned out to be Glen Wesley) for nothing?

And picking the serviceable--only very briefly though, in a Canucks uni--but yet not-so-great Petr Nedved in the draft 18 years ago ahead of guys like Jaromir Jagr and Keith Primeau? (Interestingly enough, those who are old enough will note that Martin Brodeur was chosen in the first round that year too. But I digress.)

Speaking of Luongo, those Canucks lovers out there who actually think that he will be playing on the West Coast forever are just kidding themselves.

Didn't the Chicago Blackhawks have Dominik Hasek at one point? So?

Yes, I can see that some will point to the fact that Mike Keenan was the one who traded away Hasek to Buffalo for Stephane Beauregard (and later, as the Panthers' GM, Luongo to the Canucks).

Ahh...talk about the hatred that Canucks fans have for others.

Those who root for Luongo's boys like to rub it in every time Keenan got fired from each post.

And those same people crucified Keenan for trading away Trevor Linden when the fiery coach was in Vancouver. Yet they failed to realize that Keenan also brought in Todd Bertuzzi--who was an elite player in Vancouver and later shipped to Florida to land Luongo--as part of the deal.

Last time I checked, Keenan has been a winner almost everywhere he's been. He's taken three teams--Philadelphia, Chicago, the Rangers--to the Stanley Cup Final. And Iron Mike owns a Stanley Cup ring, won in 1994. Oh wait, Keenan's Rangers beat the Canucks that year.

That's probably why Vancouerites hate him.

And isn't Keenan doing pretty well in Calgary this year, despite a slow start?

And don't Canucks fans also hate Mark Messier?

The Moose is only the greatest team leader in all of professional sports history and the proud owner of six championship rings. Again, those in British Columbia only see him as a cancer in the dressing room.

Messier is revered in Edmonton and New York, but I guess in Vancouver, he's just a loser. Geez.

Speaking of the name "Messier", it was funny that a former host on Vancouver's sports talk radio mentioned last summer after the draft that the Canucks selected Charles-Antoine Messier in the fifth round. The host, John Horn, said something like "hopefully this guy doesn't turn out like Mark."

Excuse me?

Well, I have corresponded with Horn several times before, so I'm not going to knock him. But those of you who think along those lines must be on crack. If one of your draft picks becomes half the player that a Hall of Famer is, you should be singing his praises.

Good riddance. Talk about your sorry draft history though.

Jealousy?

Certain members of Vancouver's media also take shots at former GM Brian Burke. Oh yeah, Burke is a Stanley Cup champion too, having won it all with the Mighty Ducks last season. Too bad, eh?

Vancourites also take pleasure in the failures of Calgary, Edmonton, and Toronto over the years. Hmm. Last time I checked, ALL of those franchises have won at least a Cup. Vancouver has been shut out thus far.

Gee, I guess they'll have me convinced that it's not the "J" word.

I was actually having a good laugh in 2006 when the Canucks acquired Eric Weinrich and Keith Carney, and their fans started talking Stanley Cup. Oh, by the way, Vancouver missed the playoffs that season, and saw the Oilers beat them for the final playoff spot in the West and go all the way to the Cup Final.

Canucks fans must have been kicking themselves for that one.

Truth be known, when things don't go their way, Canucks fans are the biggest whiners out there. Oh, the NHL schedule is retarded, they say. The TV schedule sucks with all those Leafs games on the tube. The East Coast bias, blah blah blah.

Sounds like a jealous bunch to me.

So, don't worry, Canucks fans, if I'm jealous of anything related to Vancouver, it's probably going to be how much rain you get, and how rich your cab drivers are (for allegedly scamming the public), and the huge amount of taxes that you guys pay. Gee, I wonder why you guys are so laid back and yet have that much money to buy that much junk food. And shell out all that money--what is it, now, 200+ straight sellouts?--to support a boring team going nowhere.

Probably a whole lot of you cheat on your taxes or something in order to do all that.

But that's a whole different story for another time.

And no, when the game goes down to a shootout, I don't need your "specialist" Alex The Great Edler on my team.

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