Literary Nonsense: My Great First Three Weeks on Bleacher Report

John Louie RamosSenior Writer IJanuary 11, 2009

After a long unimaginable sleep of nine hours, it's nice to be back here in front of the computer and start those fingers working. After all, I haven't written anything since yesterday, when I had to write an excuse letter for being absent for three consecutive days.

It's really hard to think of a topic that's gonna be worth reading, but here goes nothing.

It's about the my story for the last three weeks—sounds like an essay written by a fifth grader.'s not about my summer vacation, and it's not even summer, and it's also not about my dog, my cat, or any other four-legged domesticated mammal. It's about my experiences here at Bleacher Report.

I learned about this so-called "open source sports network" about 504 hours ago. I was browsing one of the local boxing sites here in the Philippines when I found an article written by Ronnie Blair, one of our colleagues here at B/R. Well, I enjoyed reading it, and after that I decided to go to the bathroom (the LBM medicines didn't work out well) when suddenly "a pop up pops up" (sounds awful, please don't edit it).

I really can't remember the exact words written on the pop up but it kinda goes this way,

"Don't have a life? Tired of YouTube, MySpace, Facebook, Friendster, and Yahoo! Mail? Well, come write with us."

That sums up the story of how I wrote my first article here at B/R, the very biased and closed-minded "Manny Pacquiao: The Best of All Time," and how I met different, extraordinary, and sometimes weird persons.

This is how I met persons such as stoker dafire, who by the way writes about boxing, and weather forecast (see: Hurricane Carter Justice Denied). Rojo Grande, who is big and red, only the canine type big and red. A lot of thanks to Sarah Sirigina's archive and to Sarah herself—it really helps me a lot. To Dorothy Willis, who I think is the "old wise woman" here at B/R—no disrespect to the other old fellows.

To the Ryans, namely Ryan Droege, Ryan Alberti, Ryan Hogan and Ryan Faller, who helped me with my edits. I really suck at capitalization, but you can't really blame me. My handwriting is all caps.

Speaking of edits, it reminds me of Melissa Hashemian submitting editor feedback that reads, "Nice article Louie, but next time watch out for the tags." My first reaction was, "What tag? I've never tagged anybody." Well, soon I learned it one by one: Bleacher Report protocols and jargon, the tags, the rate-my-article-five-stars, the brilliant as a dish washer-run spell check button, the POTD.


I remember a story about that, kinda funny, I guess? The other day I received a comment in one of my articles (the one about Mike Tyson). It was from Lisa Horne; it says, "Superb article, you just blew me away, POTD." At that moment the only word I know that stands for POTD is picture of the day, so I came to the conclusion that,

"Maybe Lisa Horne is just saying in a politically correct manner that Mike Tyson is good-looking."

And after a few minutes I said to myself,

"For a second thought, the guy's really good-looking"

Well, that's about three days ago. Funny thought, I'm not that stupid right now not to know what POTD stands for and thanks for the POTDs.

So much of the slapstick.

Special mention also to our founders Zander Freund, Dave Nemetz, Dave Finnochio, and Bryan Goldberg. It really ain't possible without you guys.

To Shane Howard and Charles Asbury, who thinks that my profile picture is cool, a doll with a Bob Marley hair, Yellow cloth-like skin, and a big external and exposed heart (you're probably planning to look at it right now).

To EJ Claudio and Noning Antonio, my fellow countrymen. We're gonna rock the boxing community!!

And to all others that had been a part of my first three weeks here—you know what? I'm liking this place, so you're going to see me here more often.

One last thing before I go back in bed. It just barged its way in my brain.

"I think this open source sports network thing's spinning round my head for the past three weeks."

Nah. Much more appropriate,

"I think this open source sports network thing's spinning round my head in the time period that includes UFC 92, Jeff Hardy's choreographed car accident, the Lakers-Celtics Christmas day game, Andy Murray upsetting Roger Federer, LeBron's Crab dribble (Huh?), Detroit Lions almost winning a game, The I quit, I can't do this anymore speech of MVP, and a lot of year-end sporting reviews that's had an iPod Touch at stake (which even T-Mac joined)."

I really, really, really had a good time!

Now back to bed. What do you know, if I sleep for another two hours, it'll add up to 11, and that's tying my personal record for most noncontinuous sleep in a day. Another thing, if I wake up tomorrow, it's gonna be breaking my personal record of most consecutive days of being alive. Wow!