Cleveland Browns: 7 Former QBs We're Relieved Won't Be an Option in 2012

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Trust me, Colt...it's not you. It's us.
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"When a quarterback looks at the rush, his career is over." - Joe Theismann

Unfortunately for Browns signal-callers, there's been an awful lot of pass rush to look at over the last decade. While other fans compile offseason top-10 lists, sadistic Cleveland fans remain doomed to litanies of infamy.

So, here's a list of some of the most hapless victims of Berea where, ever since the days of Belichick and Bernie Kosar, quarterbacks have gone to die.

Browns fans have suffered through a well-chronicled carousel of quarterbacks since the franchise's return to the NFL in 1999. If a single start qualified a contestant for this list, we could populate it with such illustrious names as Spergon Wynn or Bruce Gradkowski. For the sake of argument, let's set a minimum of three starts...

Gradkowski still merits honorable mention for "Worst Single Game Performance by a Cleveland Brown." Why, you might ask? Granted, the break Gradkowski got would make Colt McCoy feel like he got drafted by the Patriots. For those who don't remember, the Browns signed Bruce off the street in 2008 to help make Romeo Crennel's last stand in a typical Week 17 shellacking at the hands of the Steelers.

Gradkowski's stats:

5 for 16, 18 yards, two interceptions. Rating: 1.0. (I wish I could have gotten Dean Wormer from Animal House to say "Mr. Gradkowski...one...point...zero...")

The Browns failed to score a touchdown for the sixth-straight week...and yeah, Romeo got the axe.

In a twist of fate illustrative of the Browns' futility, Gradkowski returned to Cleveland Browns Stadium on kickoff weekend 2011. He launched a 41-yard touchdown pass to A.J. Green to hand the Browns their 12th—repeat, 12th—opening day loss out of 13 attempts in the post-1999 era.

I suppose we should consider ourselves lucky Derek Anderson didn't go back to the Ravens and win a Super Bowl...

You can follow Brian on Twitter @StepanekButton

Statistics available at www.pro-football-reference.com

Jake Delhomme (2010)

Behind the Browns' offensive line is no place for a 35-year-old.
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Jake Delhomme

The Ragin' Cajun threw five INTs in his last playoff appearance against the Arizona Cardinals back in the 2008-09 season.

Delhomme never recovered psychologically.

Coach Eric Mangini invested in the veteran signal-caller expecting to land leadership and stability, but what arrived in Cleveland was some damaged goods.

Seasons	Games Played	Comp %	Yds.	TDs	INTs
2010	5	62.4	872	2	7

Ken Dorsey (2008)

Could Dorsey's team from the U have taken the '08 Browns?
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Ken Dorsey

Dorsey revealed himself to be a true gentleman and a classy professional, dutifully mentoring the young Brady Quinn and Derek Anderson.

Before the Browns nabbed Gradkowski from the YMCA back in 2008, they gave Dorsey a disastrous three games to earn the job.

Seasons	Games Played	Comp %	Yds.	TDs	INTs
2008	3	47%	370	0	7

Luke McCown (2004)

Use the force, Luke! Use the force!
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Luke McCown

In a 2004 season which began with Butch Davis in the unassailable position as the only coach to ever lead the Browns to the playoffs since 1999, the Browns managed to make Murphy's Law look like a Swiss clock by comparison.

Davis barely survived past Thanksgiving, resigning as head coach and GM on November 30, 2004—less than a year after leading the Browns to the playoffs.

Like Gradkowski, McCown's continued presence in the league is a true testament to his character.

Seasons	Games Played	Comp %	Yds.	TDs	INTs
2004	5	49	608	4	7

Jeff Garcia (2004)

Surprise! An injured Garcia played only 11 games in 2004.
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Jeff Garcia

In an organization notorious for quarterback deficiency, the pricey Jeff Garcia and McCown combined in 2004 to provide a particularly putrid vintage in the Browns' cellar of quarterback history.

Seasons	Games Played	Comp %	Yds.	TDs	INTs
2004	11	57.1	1,731	10	9

Doug Pederson (2000)

Carrying Favre's clipboard worked out better for Aaron Rodgers.
Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

Doug Pederson

It was the Browns' second season and Chris Palmer's last. Many wondered if taking a record hit-count would shorten Tim Couch's career. Perhaps. (B/R is a wonderful format, but we need a sarcasm font.)

In a delicious, ironic twist, Couch's season ended when he broke his thumb. Against Jamir Miller's helmet. Jamir Miller of the Cleveland Browns. In practice. It was the inaugural incident in the near-annual tradition of season-ending injuries for contemporary Cleveland Browns quarterbacks.

Pederson's pedigree as a Holmgren disciple and Brett Favre's backup failed to produce results, to say the least. When the Browns prefer Dennis Northcutt, Kevin Johnson or Josh Cribbs to the guy listed as a quarterback, their PSL-holders begin to wonder what they can get for their seats on StubHub.

Seasons	Games Played	Comp %	Yds	TDs	INTs
2000	11	55.7	1,047	2	8

Eric Zeier (1995)

At least when the Browns went to Baltimore, Zeier went with them.
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Eric Zeier

Admittedly, Eric Zeier never really had a chance.

We indignantly claim Colt McCoy didn't get a fair shake because he lacked the team around him. The day after Zeier made his second NFL start, Art Modell announced the Browns' relocation to Baltimore.

Those are hostile working conditions.

Seasons	Games Played	Comp %	Yds.	TDs	INTs
1995	6	51%	864	4	9

Paul McDonald (1980-85)

Photo: Ernie Mastroianni, www.pbase.com

Paul McDonald

Absent the incompetence of President James Buchanan, Abraham Lincoln's inspired leadership may never have emerged.

Similarly, Browns fans suffered with McDonald through the crucible of the 1984 season, after which their savior was delivered via the supplemental draft: Bernie Kosar.