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Since I am riding the high of last night’s Oscar presentation, I thought that I would hand out my nominations and winners for the Baseball Academy Awards...

And the Oscar Goes To: Baseball's Top Performers

by Heather Stidham [HUMOR]

9

494 reads

Humor

February 25, 2008


Since I am riding the high of last night’s Oscar presentation, I thought that I would hand out my nominations and winners for the Baseball Academy Awards.

So, here we go…

 

Best Actor of the Year

Curt Shilling, There will be Blood Part 2

Jonathon Papelbon, Step Up to the Mound

Barry Bonds, Fugitive: Running from the Feds

Roger Clemens, Titanic 2

 

And the Winner is…Jonathon Papelbon for Step Up to the Mound 

Step Up to the Mound is the story of a young dancer turned Red Sox’s closer, on a mission to win a WORLD :) Championship one step at a time. His rendition of River Dance left audiences in awe and helped catapult his career as a pop-sensation.

 

Best Actress of the Year 

Debbie Clemens, Behind Closed Doors

Erin Andrews, There’s Something about Erin

Allyson Footer, A Beautiful Mind

 

And the Oscar goes to…Debbie Clemens for Behind Closed Doors 

The gut-wrenching story of a woman forced to uphold a picture-perfect image for a husband in the spotlight, Behind Closed Doors explores Clemens fight to remain the perfect mother and wife while hiding a deep, dark secret from the world. Critics called it “haunting” and “beautiful.”  

 

Best Supporting Actor

Clay Buchholz, Rookie of the Year

Craig Biggio, Saving the Houston Astros

Joe Torre, Ice Age: The Final Meltdown

The Philadelphia Phillies, The Sting: 10,000 and Counting

 

And the Winner is…Craig Biggio for Saving the Houston Astros

 

Saving the Houston Astros is the tale of a brave man who takes on the challenge of saving a whole city, one hit at a time. His grace and humility make his performance the only shining light of the film and saves Astros fans from shredding their season tickets.

 

Best Picture

San Francisco Giants, The Bonds Witch Project

Colorado Rockies, Mission Possible

New York Mets, Every Which Way but Loose

Tampa Bay Devil Rays, Super-Duper Bad

 

And the Oscar goes to…The Tampa Bay Devil Rays for Super-Duper Bad 

This hard-to-watch depiction of life on the streets in Florida is both nauseating and gut-wrenching. Day-after-day of painful performances makes this a must-see picture for anyone who wants to experience pure agony. The New York Times called it, “vomit-inducing” and “grotesque”

 

Thank you for joining me for the Baseball Oscars. What do you think? Did the Academy get it right this year? What other awards should be given out?

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9 comments Last one added about 1 year ago — Leave a Comment

  1. Silas Beyman about 1 year ago

    Very nice article, loved the award for best actress.

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  2. Anonymous about 1 year ago

    lol.

    not much a baseball fan either, are you?

    in your basketball article: "stoudemire will be free to *shoot for* 25 points a night."

    in your baseball article: "national championship"

    nobody who knew dick about either sport would make these mistakes.

    Look, I'm all for people writing and all, and the internet has been a wonderful way of bringing people's words together on various subjects. but seriously, do you really think anyone anywhere will learn anything or enjoy any aspect of your writings about sports, when you so clearly dont know anything about any of them?

    Maybe you should find a new subject to blog about.

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  3. Heather Stidham about 1 year ago

    Are you serious with that buddy??? You are really going to down my opinions because I replaced the word world with national...get a life...

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  4. Heather Stidham about 1 year ago

    Oh...and maybe you should find a new place to be an asshole...

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  5. Anonymous about 1 year ago

    I was just pointing out that, besides the fact that your opinions are myopic and wrong, many of your comments reveal your fundamental lack of knowledge about sports. No one who knows anything about basketball would ever say "I shot for 25 points"...and you're trying to comment on the goings on of the nba, sayin that kinda shit?

    lol.

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  6. Heather Stidham about 1 year ago

    Thanks for your insight. I have seen the light...congratulations. Feel free to never read my work again...I don't mind.

    lol. :)

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  7. Anonymous about 1 year ago

    No prob.

    And I think I will actually continue reading your work. Your ignorance is quite amusing.

    lol.

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    • Divya Parmar about 1 year ago

      Is that hypocracy or what?

      I'm sure you made mistakes too, Mr. I'm so Perfect.

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    • Heather Stidham about 1 year ago

      Thank you Divya! And call me stupid, but I would say shoot for 25 points again. For me...they do "shoot" for 25 points. Maybe it is a regional thing...I hear people say that all the time! :) Some people have nothing better to do than gives others a hard time. I welcome it! Thanks again!

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