How Can the NFL Top the 2007 Season? Part 1
Wow. This recently passed season in the NFL was anything but boring. You can even safely call it controversial. From the criminal to the stupid, and the devastating to the amazing- this season had it all. Let's recap:
The Criminally Stupid
For those of us who could still think of OJ Simpson as a Buffalo Bill and not a dangerous killer, we had his Las Vegas shenanigans to entertain us in the fall. If his Hall of Fame career wasn't supplanted in your mind by images of Johnnie Cochran- multiple counts of armed robbery and kidnapping should help shift the focus. Allegedly breaking into and robbing a hotel room, with a deadly weapon, is not smart. Actually, it's pretty stupid. OJ proved that some NFL superstars are just regular, flawed, stupid humans. No Superman here. Thanks OJ.
Speaking of flawed humans- Michael Vick is probably one of the dumbest humans to ever buckle a chin strap. Do drugs, admit you have a problem, get clean, and you're there in time for mini-camp (I AM NOT CONDONING DRUG USE. I am simply pointing out it is fairly common in the NFL). Beat your wife or girlfriend, go to jail for the night, apologize, go to anger management therapy, and never miss a snap. It happens all the time in the NFL (I AM NOT CONDONING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. I am simply pointing out that it is fairly common in the NFL). But Michael- dogs??!! Dogs, kittens, and kids- you DO NOT mess with them. What were you thinking? A promising career dumbed away. What a waste.
Speaking of idiots, Pacman Jones got stupid in a Las Vegas strip club last February. After Jones allegedly beat a stripper's head off of the stage for collecting his money without permission, someone reportedly associated with Jones fired a gun into the club, hitting three patrons. Add to that legal debacle implications and allegations of drug connections and gambling, and Pacman bought himself at least a year away from football. But fear not- fans of Pacman could tune in to TNA Wrestling for a fix. Maybe Michael Vick can get a gig there, too? He could copy a look from the Junkyard Dog...
Chris Henry of the Cincinnati Bengals also rode the bench during part of the 2007 season due to stupidity, but his suspension was only for eight games. Henry, incidentally a teammate of Pacman Jones at WVU, was suspended for violations of the league's personal conduct policy. Henry's legal troubles have included supplying alcohol to minors, alleged weapons violations, alleged drug violations, and even alleged DUI charges (some of these charges were dropped or found to be erroneous). He was warned by the NFL that further infractions could end his career in the NFL. Well, there's always wrestling...He could tag team with Pacman..and Michael V...
What will 2008 be like? Will more players show courage, committment, and integrity- or will rosters be copied directly from rap sheets? So far, 2008 is off to a quiet start, but the Spygate investigation hasn't picked up full steam. Who knows, if Senator Specter uncovers the huge conspiracy he is convinced exists, maybe we'll find Jimmy Hoffa- I think Belichick is hiding something...
If I have overlooked any criminally stupid players, please comment with their names and violations. I would hate not to recognize anyone's brilliant stupidity.
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