ESPN keeps trying to tell me how it cool it is that they are showing 8 billion bowl games yesterday and today. I remember from my childhood that there's probably games on the networks today. I guess. I don't actually know. You know why?
I live in New York and we don't care about college football.
Nope, sorry. We don't. We don't take anything away from you. Enjoy the games. We get it, you have nothing else to do. Around here we have a zillion sports options, and let me rank them for you.
3. "The Football Giants" (there hasn't been a baseball team called Giants around these parts in 50 years but they still have to be referred to as the Football Giants.)
That's it. The Yankees can sneeze and get the back page so they are #1. Baseball is still king in this town so they are #2. NFL comes next, and the Football Giants are the defending champions and always the team of the rich people so they are third. The Jets are their loser cousins that work a blue collar job, still it's the NFL so they live.
Now there's a gap.
5. Knicks. The problem is that the Knicks suck. When the Knicks are good suddenly everyone is a Knicks fan. Right now the NBA is about as popular as NASCAR in New York.
6. Rangers. If the NBA is NASCAR then the NHL is Arena Football, as in skip a season and see if anyone cares. Sure if the Rangers make the Cup Finals suddenly all the Messier jerseys will come out of storage, but it's hard to find a hockey fan around here.
7 (tie). Argue this one any way you want. Nets/Devils/Islanders. The Nets are in the NBA but said they were leaving NJ to go to Brooklyn, except they never do so they have no fans. The Devils had a ten year run of tremendous success, won three cups, lost a fourth in the finals, have the greatest goaltender of all time and yet nobody cares. The Islanders were really cool 25 years ago and haven't done a thing since, so the fanbase dwindles year after year.
Still, all that more popular than college football around here.
Out of Town Teams:
10. Dolphins. There are a lot of Marino jerseys in these waters. The fans of fins are all hopped up this week, so they are noticeable.
11. Cowboys. There's a bunch of 40 year olds who got into football in 1977. Then there's a second wave of college kids who know about Troy Aikman.
12. (tie) You pick which has more fans. When St. John's basketball is good that becomes trendy. It isn't and hasn't been for a while. Manhattan basketball sometimes pops up. The Metrostars/Red Bulls - I guess someone is going to those games but I've only met one guy who does who you can read about here.
15. The Poker freaks. ESPN has ruined the Friday night poker game for everyone forever by televising this WSOP nonsense. Try to get the fellas to play "deuces wild" for more than one hand before the Texas Hold 'Em silliness begins. Still, way more popular than college football.
Now that we are 16 teams deep, college football makes the list:
Right around now, when the Yankees aren't signing anyone, and the Rangers are off, and Manhattan isn't playing, a New Yorker will pay attention to College Football. Sure we'll tune in for the BCS game, we also tune in for tke Kentucky Derby and the World Cup finals. It's something to stare at.
Sure Rutgers think's they are a big deal - they got all uppity when they were like 7 & 0 a few years back. Nobody cares there papajohnsbowl winners. There's some old dudes who follow Army/Navy. There's some Irish guys who think Notre Dame has something to do with them, but only when ND is good.
Oh yeah then we get to NASCAR.
So America enjoy your national holiday of watching games New York doesn't care about. We'll be scouring the wires to see if Lowe signs with the Mets or if the Yankees sign Manny.